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28th Jun 2019

The 13 Painful Stages Of Running Into Someone You Know In An Irish Nightclub

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Friends come and go, but acquaintances are for life.

The people that you knew briefly for a time, and who grace your timeline just enough so you vaguely know what they’re doing with their life.

But when the time comes, when you actually have to see them face to face, it goes a little something like this:

1. Your voice raises three octaves

You can never usually hit notes as high as when you see that girl you went to the Gaeltacht with when you were 16.

2. You give an unnecessarily long hug

Why? You don’t know this person.

Stop touching them.

3. You say these three things

“Oh my God! How are you? I haven’t seen you in aaaaages!

Over and over again, in a multitude of ways.

4. You gush over them

Their dress, their hair everything about them is FAB.

5. You continue to scream everything you say

It’s so exciting and there’s no way you can talk in a normal voice!

6. You buy them a drink

And regret it the next morning.

7. You take a picture and send it to a mutual friend

Captioned “look who I found!!!!!!!”

8. You reminisce

You talk and laugh about the good old days, usually about one memory or private joke in particular.

9. You introduce them to your friends

And no one really gives a shit.

10. You interrogate them

You want to know exactly what they’re doing with their life, because for some reason you feel bad that you don’t already know.

11. You bring them out to the Smoking Area

Only to find that you don’t have quite as much to talk about as you do

12. You emphasise how long it’s been

You just can’t get over the fact that it’s been so long.

13. You promise to meet up

Several times. You might even pick a date, and a place.

But you never do.

And so, you repeat this every time you see said person in a club.

For the rest of your life.

READ NEXT: 60 Things About Irish Primary School That You’ll Have Forgotten About

 

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