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20th Dec 2016

16 Things Your Mammy Says When You Skype Her From Abroad


We have to give it to our mammies. As much as we give out about them, we’d probably all be horrible human beings without their help.

They also give us a serious laugh at times, particularly when it comes to the realm of technology. 

To be fair, at least they’ll give new devices a go – whereas the auld fella will probably just shun them altogether.

We have to feel for them too, with the genuine anguish they go through when we head off to far-flung places for holidays, J1s, or just generally gallivanting about the world.

In tribute to our great mammies, we’ve put together the various stages of the “Mammy Call” on Skype or FaceTime that we’ve all received whilst being abroad.

There’s bound to be a few that ring a bell…

1) “Hello? I can’t hear you? John, I can’t hear him…”

Turn on the microphone ma

2) “Jaysus son good to see ya. No…wait…I can’t see you, can you see me?”

Ma, you have to turn the camera on.


3) “Oh god now, how do I do that?”

Press the button that says “Turn camera on”

4) “There we go now, can you see me now?”

I can yeah, I’ve got a fantastic view of your forehead, move the camera away from your face.

5) “That better?”

Not really but I can’t be arsed explaining it further.


6) “Well, how are ya getting on?”

Not too bad, we we—(interrupted)


Followed by a 30 minute breakdown of the amount of rainfall and average temperature per day.

8) “25 degrees? Oh God no, that’d be too hot for me now”

Factor 50 needed ASAP

Irish Girl Sunbathing

9) “Are ya getting enough to eat?”

Yes mother I’m in New York, not Sudan.

10) “You’re not drinking too much, are you?”

No, no, just on my eighth pint of the afternoon


11) “Did ya hear Pat Joe from beside the parochial house’s dog died?”

I couldn’t care less, ma.

12) “And the lads are into the Championship Final?”

Are they yeah? Great stuff.

13) “Your sister’s here, do ya want to talk to her? Here, I’ll put her on.”

30 minutes later…

14) “Oh sure there’s Margaret from round the corner. You’ll chat to her for a bit won’t ya?”


15) “Well sure here, I’ll let you go. I’ve to get the dinner on”

Shite, forgot to ask her for a lend of a few quid.

16) “Right, watch yourself, good luck, bye, go on, talk to ya in a bit, bye, stay safe, bye..”