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23 Things You'll 100% Relate To If You Work In Sales

By niallharbison

December 20, 2016 at 12:18am


Sales is the most important function of any business – we all know that, or at least we all spend a certain amount of our time trying to convince ourselves of it.

And while it takes all sorts to make up an industry as mad as this one, there are certain things we all have in common.

How many of these are you guilty of?

1. You know everything about the weather from making small talk with hundreds of people


2. Friday afternoon is pointless – because nobody makes any sort of decision


3. You go to bed most nights thinking about targets and dream about them all night

4. You have a fancy job title to hide the fact you are selling to people


5. You dream that one day you'll walk in and the sales will just start flowing in like magic without you having to do any work


6. Getting a big sale is like a drug

7. None of the other idiots in the company could do your job


8. And there wouldn't be a company were it not for you and your sales. You run the show like a boss

9. Spreadsheets, always looking at bloody spreadsheets


10. The ever-increasing targets mean you're never quite at the top of that hill

11. You know your sales are paying for your boss's holiday in the Caribbean

But you don't care, because SALES, MORE SALES.


12. And nothing feels worse than when your colleagues are getting sales and you can't sell shit


13. You're on first-name terms with every receptionist in the country


14. You're sick of having to dress smarter than everybody at work because you have to constantly go to meetings

I want a hoodie. Hmph.


15. Sometimes you hit your targets early and just say "Fuck it, I'm going to sit here and read the internet because I've earned it"


16. When you tell people your job this is what they think you do

17. When the reality is this


18. You'd rather go without clothes than without a business card


19. You don't trust one single person or what they are saying

And you know they don't trust you.


20. You look forward to calling that one company with the great hold music

21. You relish getting any sort of sales call yourself, and test the person on the other end of call – but make sure never to buy from them


22. You never take no as an answer in business. Never

23. At the end of the day though, you work in sales because you're a winner. Nobody will ever beat you!


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