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09th Aug 2021

The basic B’s guide to Love Island episode 36

Fiona Frawley

After Friday nights episode harking back to the scary bust up days of old school Big Brother and Jersey Shore, last nights was relatively tame.

Which is definitely for the best, I’m sure I wasn’t the only one hastily downloading mindfulness apps in a desperate attempt to get back my inner peace after that. It was the kind of thing that could have felt like entertainment back in 2002, now it just feels exploitative.

Anyway, let’s not dwell. Last night was half chats, and half Laura Whitmore taking about three hours to reveal which boys and girls were at risk of being dumped. You wouldn’t want to be in a rush.

We saw the usual review of the night before from the girls on the terrace and the boys in the kitchen, culminating in Jake pulling Faye for a chat. She let him know that his clip was one of the most upsetting to her, seeing him encourage the boys to cheat while claiming to be a ‘big brother’ to the girls. As seems to be the trend in there, Jake denied the video evidence, and they decided to draw a line under it.

Jake and Lib then discussed his lack of desire to rip her clothes off as specified in the video. As always he waved his “I wouldn’t make you my girlfriend if” card frantically in her face the same way I used to brandish my fake id in attempts to get into Bondi back in the day, and Liberty seemed to have no choice but to accept it. Will she ever see the light?

Liam and Millie had a chat about their kisses now being more meaningful, that they’re back on track now etc etc. To be honest, fair enough. It’s easy for us to judge Millie from the outside for getting back with Liam, it would have been excellent tv for her to go rogue and re-couple with Matthew but most of us have probably accepted similar behaviour and given second chances over the years. C’est la vie, kids.

Mary had a chat with Dale about needing to take it slow, which should be no problem as they’re probably going to be heading home soon enough, and Toby the newly appointed villa counsellor persuaded Kaz to clear the air with Matthew. She did, and then proceeded to give the green light to Tyler, who to be honest already looks like he’s lost a bit of interest.

Faye and Teddy had another chat, the consensus seeming to be that the relationship is over. As she said, she’d rather be done than be hurt.

After that string of non-events the islanders got ready to head off to the “vibes” club for the day. It has to be said, they all do a great job at seeming excited when everyone knows those club trips always mean at least one person being dumped. Laura came in and in the style of an ordinary level Irish student trying to get through their aural, she eventually delivered the news that Abi, Mary, Kaz, Dale, Tyler and Jake all risk being dumped, and the rest of the islanders will decide who stays and goes. Would love to see the back of Jake and his vein popping out of his forehead as he continues to recite his anthem of “I wouldn’t make you my girlfriend if”, but I’m assuming that won’t happen. My guess is we’ll be saying goodbye to Dale and Mary, but sure stranger things have happened. We’ll also be welcoming bombshells Priya and Aaron tonight. Will anyone’s head turn or will these two become the latest members of the 48 hour Love Island club? We’ll see tonight.

Header image via Instagram/Love Island

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