Words cannot describe just how many things that President of the United States, Donald Trump (we shudder even writing that), seems to really, really hate.
Using Twitter as his spewing platform of choice, Trump has denounced so many people and places we've lost count. Who can keep up with it all?
Which is why surely he wouldn't blame us for "forgetting" a few things he might not be too fond of - so that when the time came for him to make a little visit to Ireland, we could take him on a personal Lovin.ie tour to these pretty ingenious suggestions of what he should do when he's on the Emerald Isle.
Feel free to add your own ideas below ;)
1. Swing by Pantibar
Dublin's fave bar serving the LGBTI community and their friends, we'd hope that Panti Bliss herself could talk some sense into marriage-equality opposed Trump.
2. Visit Tresses Hairpiece Boutique
Let's face it: The man badly needs a new gruaig fix. These hairpiece experts will hopefully sort it out.
3. Check out the toilets in Adelphi bar
Another Dublin drinking hole for Trump's list, except in this one we'll lead him straight into the men's toilets to relive some Russian memories.
4. Journey to Moneygall village
Considering Trump has said that Obama is "perhaps the worst president in U.S history", we think a visit to Obama's ancestors birthplace would go down a treat.
President Obama will go down as perhaps the worst president in the history of the United States!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 2, 2016
5. Go glove shopping in Dunnes Stores
Word on the street is that Dunnes have a great range of children's gloves in at the moment - perfect for warming up small hands.
6. Get a nice Cocoa Brown tan
Ireland's favourite tan, Cocoa Brown, has a lovely mahogany shade that would 100% be an improvement on Trump's preferred tangerine shade.
7. Stop by the Amazon Headquarters
Trump famously wants to keep all the businesses in America and impose heavy penalties for those setting up off shore, but maybe Amazon's funky offices will change his mind.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 7, 2015
8. Snack on a carnitas burrito
Wait, Donald Trump loves Mexico right? We wonder if he'd see the funny side of Pablo Picante's #PledgeForPablo in their 'Build Burritos Not Walls' campaign. :)
9. Try on a flat cap for size
Red isn't really his colour, and as for that #MAGA slogan? Please Donald, let us help you pick a nice tweed flat cap to wear instead.
10. Binge watch Father Ted
Seeing Dougal's character wrongly judge the size of cows might help Trump understand where he's going so wrong with his 'alternative facts' for the inauguration crowd turnout.
Yep, we think Donald Trump will have a grand oul time here...
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