Congratulations! You’ve made it through college and out the other side, and you’ve probably had your photograph professionally taken while holding a fancy scroll in hand.
Now what?
Finishing college is a weird feeling; you no longer feel like you actually belong anywhere, and as the new students flood into the university or college, you begin to realise that you weren’t as important as you thought you once were.
And as the unemployed months pass by, you begin to experience things that only recent graduates will be able to relate to.
1. No more student discount
Long gone are the days of heading into Topshop, buying a rake of clothes and getting a percentage off the total cost when you arrive to the till.
The blessed student card no longer holds any power, and the day you realise this is a real shock to the system.
2. Going out midweek is a thing of the past
Ah, the good old days, when we could go out on any random night and didn’t have to worry about being hungover the next day because, realistically, we were never going to go into that 9am lecture anyway.
A combination of a lack of funds and actual responsibilities kick in, and all the fun is sucked out of life forever.
3. It’s time to pay back those loans
Student loans were absolutely great at the time, but paying them pack? This is not so much fun…
4. The dreaded “So, what are you doing with yourself lately?” question
“I usually just watch Netflix…”
5. Still working in your college part-time job
Everyone seems to have moved on to bigger and better things, but you still seem to find yourself doing the exact same thing you were doing while you were in college.
Whether that’s waiting tables at the local restaurant, pulling pints on the weekend, or working in retail (God bless you) you can find yourself stuck in a rut, wondering if you’ll ever have a different job.
6. Every job requires years of experience
Just like the mysterious question “which came first, the chicken or the egg?”, the frustration of having to get experience before securing a job still makes zero sense us.
Just give us a job, please!
7. Buying rounds in the pub is a major no-no
You head out for a few pints with your employed friends, only to find yourself in an sticky situation of buying rounds for each other.
The best idea here is to either A) pull a sickie, or B) pull an ‘Irish exit’ and hope for the best.
8. No more three-month long summers
This one applies to the lucky ones who have actually managed to secure a job since graduation.
And it’s especially annoying if you’re the first of your group of friends to graduate, meaning you’re the only one who won’t have a summer of freedom anymore, and you’ll probably begin to regret all of those J1s you didn’t go on.
9. You regret not paying more attention in class
As you prepare for interviews and new job opportunities, you begin to realise how useful it would have been to have actually paid attention in that 9am Monday lecture, so you could actually tell the interviewer what you studied in college.
10. You wonder why you chose that college course
After studying for a total of four years you finally realise that you probably should’ve picked something with more job prospects.
Sorry Mom…
11. Your life has absolutely no routine
Going to bed at 4am and waking up at 2pm? With no classes to get up for, and with no tests to study for this can easily become a daily routine.
12. Giving out copies of your CV like they’re gifts on Christmas Day
Sure look, you’ve got nothing to lose.
13. Moving back in with your parents
Just when you social life reached its peak, you’re back at square one.
With parents nagging at you to get a job, forcing you to clean your ‘messy’ room, and making you chip in with the housework, living at home is absolutely no craic.