Growing up, our parents were the fountain of knowledge, power, and truth. Or so we thought...
It was only when we grew a little older, and began to realise that the things they told us, repeatedly, the things that they pounded into us were nothing but a pack of lies.
While the truth can sting, take comfort in the fact that we've all been there - we've all been told these little lies.
1. Eating your crusts will make your hair go curly
As a younger sister of someone with the curliest hair ever, you can bet I finished every single crust of every piece of toast and sandwich possible. Do you think my hair went curly? Not even a wave.
2. Sitting too close to the TV will make your eyes go square
Another falsehood. Granted, this one was told to keep us healthy, but still. It's a lie.
3. The ice-cream van plays music when it runs out of ice-cream
The betrayal. The hurt. All the ice-cream we could have eaten.
4. If the wind changes your face will be stuck like that
Tried and tested: my face was not left stuck like that.
5. I'm going to see a man about a dog
Did a dog ever miraculously appear after these meetings? No, never.
6. I just need to test your crisps
Or our sweets, toast, any food really. They claimed it was to make sure they were okay, but they were just being greedy. Gluttony is a sin, don't ya know.
9. Telling a lie will turn your tongue black
Cue every 7-year-old running to the mirror to check if our tongue is really black.
10. Carrots help you see in the dark
The claim that they gave you night vision was, unfortunately, not true. Though we're still holding out hope for a miracle.
11. If you swallow chewing gum, it will get stuck inside you
To be honest, part of me still believes this one. Good work, Mam.
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