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29th Jun 2017

13 Things All Irish People Think But Would NEVER Say

James Fenton

We’re an expressive bunch here in Ireland but even we think stuff we would never ever say. 

We haven’t really got it in us to offend anyone but in our minds, everything is fair game.

How many of these can you relate to?

1. “Fuc…king… MOVE.”

Could they walk any slower?

2. “I literally have no idea what you’re asking me to do.”

But if I keep nodding everything will be okay. 

3. “Stop with the baby photos would ya?”

Cute and all but that’s enough.  

4. “Here’s this fucking eejit now.”

*Internal eye roll*

5. “I really hope someone suggests doing shots.”

Don’t make me be the one. 

6. “Yeah, I will in me arse.”

Never ask me to do that again. 

7. “Does this gobshite ever stop talking?”

On and on and on. 

8. “This fecking auld one counting her fucking coins.”

We’re in a bleedin’ hurry. 

9. “MAM… Stop annoying me.”

The most mortal of sins. 

10. “Yeah, you’re not Irish”

No matter how much you think you are. 

11. “I’ve met this guy five times… what the fuck is his name?”

He should write it on his head. 

12. “They better pay me back for this.”

This is like the third dinner I’ve paid for this month.

13. “This tea is shite.”

Never make me one again. 

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