14 Make-Up Products We All Used To Swear By That Were Fucking Ludicrous

Ah, the days of yore.

Filled with hope, dreams of affording a home and Roy of The Rover Bars (WHERE ARE YOU) – we had it good back in the nineties. 

Our faces however, didn’t.

Take a trip down memory lane with me, shall you…

1. Body glitter

Two words that under no circumstances should be placed together. 

2. Lipsmackers

Coca-cola FTW. 

3. Rimmel Sparkly Sunshimmer

Glitter-infused acrylic paint. 

Which just came out red on Irish skin. 

4. Foundation lips

Crusty and white. Not good. 

5. Maxfactor Pan stick

Thick marshmallow coloured paint on our fresh pale skin. 

What could possibly go wrong?

6. Sun in

It only took us about 10 years to realise that it doesn’t fucking work. 

7. Clearasil face wash

But by God, we needed it.

8. Victoria’s Secret body mist

The jury’s still out on whether this was just water mixed with sugar or not. 

(It was)

9. Blue mascara

Which is apparently making a comeback… *shudder*

10. Dream Matte Mousse

There was never a shade light enough, but we still soldiered on.

God bless us, we bathed in the stuff. 

11. Poorly blended eyeshadow

Was there even any other way?

12. Attempting to apply aforementioned eyeshadow with these glorified wooden sticks

A special kind of torture. 

13. Sabrina’s Secrets make up products

Why was every product in the 90s thickly coated with glitter?

14. And finally, solely using bronzer as foundation

Illegal. 

So, so illegal. 

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