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25 Things Ireland Absolutely DESTROYS England At

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They’ve already sealed the 2017 Six Nations and they may well beat us today but Ireland absolutely destroys England at so many things other than rugby.

From our great writers, to our musical legends, sporting moments and generally just having the bleedin’ craic. 

Sorry, England. We know it and deep down we reckon you know it too. We’re just better.

Here’s why:

1. Chat Shows

“What are ye on about, sure BBC’s Graham Norton is way better than RTE’s Late Late Show.”

“Moot point. Graham Norton is Irish.”

Next…

2. Boy bands

Westlife have 14 UK number 1’s to Take That’s 12. Throw in Boyzone with six to East 17’s solitary number one and we’re laughing.

3. Sportsmanship

Sure one of the main reasons we go to major football tournaments is to have the craic with all the other nations.

We’ll give the English chair-throwing though!

4. Tea

Barrys or Lyons is a national debate here. Tetley is shit. 

4. Identifying nationalities

Katie Taylor, Conor McGregor, Saoirse Ronan. ALL Irish. Despite the Brits’ constant attempts at usurpin ’em. 

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5. Saying the word ‘scone’

What the f*ck is a SCON?

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6. MMA

Need we say more?

7. Kids’ TV

Den 2 > Live & Kicking 

8. Stand-up comedy

Tommy Tiernan, Dara O’Briain, Dylan Moran. What have they got?

9. Eurovision

Seven Irish wins to their five. Count ’em. 

10. Horse riding

Between Tony McCoy, Ruby Walsh and countless others, we’ve been dominating the British racing scene for so long it’s almost boring. 

11. Boxing

Michael Conlan took down the whole amateur boxing industry with nothing more than a tongue-lashing and they only wish Katie Taylor was theirs. 

12. Breakfast

Sausage, rasher, egg, toast. Get your cornish hash browns or whatever the feck they are away from us. 

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13. Taking the piss out of ourselves

Sure look, we’re only messin’ with this article. Write one about us. It’ll be gas! 

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14. Literature

Joyce, Yeats, Boland, Sayers, Binchy, Wilde. The list is endless. They’re more used to having Big Brother runners-up on their bestsellers list.

15. Making booze

Go anywhere in the world and you’ll spot people knocking back Guinness, Murphys, Smithwicks and countless Irish whiskies. No cheapo lagers here. 

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16. Gaelic Games

Yeah, we know. Still counts.

17. Respecting our legends

Robbie Keane gets a mighty sing-song going in pub and we love him. Wayne Rooney farts in a lift and they’re calling for him to be sacked. 

18. Sailing

We’ve an Olympic silver medallist, don’t you know.

19. Toy Shows 

They haven’t even got one.

20. Cousins

Ya can’t bate an Irish cousin. 

21. Bringing Harry Potter to a house party

Like what the Dublin Minor Football team did after Coppers a few years’ back. 

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22. Garth Brooks scandals

He almost caused a civil war in 2014. 

23. Ploughing

The championships of which is one of our major national events. 

24. Stunning scenery

To be fair, England’s not bad. But, I mean, just click here.

25. And last but not least… having the bleedin’ craic!

READ NEXT:17 Reasons Why Everyone Needs To Spend Paddy’s Day In Ireland At Least Once


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