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20th Dec 2016

48 Thoughts You Have The Monday Before Payday


The Monday before payday kicks off is a world of emotions. 

Sadness, anger, confusion, and then sadness again – it’s truly a whirlwind of feelings. 

Come with us on a journey of desperation, hope and eventual triumph, as we examine the many feelings we experience on our poorest Monday of the month.

1. Oh Jesus, it’s only MONDAY

2. Friday may as well be weeks away

3. Okay, so I need three meals a day, two bus fares daily and a present for mum’s birthday

4. *checks balance and momentarily goes into a coma*

200 9

5. So I can afford to spend €1.49 each day from now until Friday

6. Slick

7. I wonder if there’s a black market in Dublin

8. Actually, my organs are in shite

9. Does Tiger sell food?

10. Leeks are on sale in Tesco

11. I wonder could I live on one leek for the rest of the week

12. Haha, that rhymed

200 4

13. Rhyming is all I can afford to do now

14. *phone buzzes* 


15. Fuck yeah, I need a pint

16. A pint of… money

200 5

17. *fishes coins out of pockets* Okay, I have 48c

18. That rounds up to 50c these days. Winning!

19. I’m practically making money!

20. Now, what to have for dinner tonight

200 2

21. Mmm, thinly sliced everything

22. I’m going to be so skinny

23. *checks price of local spice bags*

24. Tuesday deals are only €2 per bag!

25. Tomorrow’s gonna be liiiit

200 3

26. Now, for today

27. So I have some bread in the freezer (thanks Mum)

28. And some questionable Philadephia

29. Perfect! 

200 10

30. I should be a financial advisor 

31. Not today Eddie Hobbs, you’ve been replaced

32. I wonder could I give grinds in something

33. Or do any of my parent friends need babysitting

200 11

32. Jesus, milk is pricey these days isn’t it?

33. I could make my own like

34. Too far, reel it in

200 6

35. Who needs a gym, the WORLD is my gym!

36. Dumbbells are for the weak

37. Try carrying the economical weight on your shoulders that I am, huh?!

200 12

38. Christ, I’m dramatic today

39. So I’ve spent €1.14 today, meaning I can carry over the 35c I’ve saved onto tomorrow!

40. Being broke isn’t all that bad

41. *silent weeping*

200 8

42. Wait, if I use contactless on my card, then it doesn’t take it from my account for three days

43. So really, I just have to get today and tomorrow over with – and then I’m back rolling in it

44. Give me 40 spice bags and 80 pints!

200 7

45. And I’ll donate to ALL of the charities!

46. (Well, maybe next month)

47. And now, we wait…

48. *calls up best mate* “So, remember that €6 you owe me…”

200 13

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