48 Thoughts You Have The Monday Before Payday
*checks balance and momentarily goes into a coma*
The Monday before payday kicks off is a world of emotions.
Sadness, anger, confusion, and then sadness again – it's truly a whirlwind of feelings.
Come with us on a journey of desperation, hope and eventual triumph, as we examine the many feelings we experience on our poorest Monday of the month.
1. Oh Jesus, it's only MONDAY
2. Friday may as well be weeks away
3. Okay, so I need three meals a day, two bus fares daily and a present for mum's birthday
4. *checks balance and momentarily goes into a coma*
5. So I can afford to spend €1.49 each day from now until Friday
7. I wonder if there's a black market in Dublin
8. Actually, my organs are in shite
9. Does Tiger sell food?
10. Leeks are on sale in Tesco
11. I wonder could I live on one leek for the rest of the week
12. Haha, that rhymed
13. Rhyming is all I can afford to do now
14. *phone buzzes*
15. Fuck yeah, I need a pint
16. A pint of... money
17. *fishes coins out of pockets* Okay, I have 48c
18. That rounds up to 50c these days. Winning!
19. I'm practically making money!
20. Now, what to have for dinner tonight
21. Mmm, thinly sliced everything
22. I'm going to be so skinny
23. *checks price of local spice bags*
24. Tuesday deals are only €2 per bag!
25. Tomorrow's gonna be liiiit
26. Now, for today
27. So I have some bread in the freezer (thanks Mum)
28. And some questionable Philadephia
30. I should be a financial advisor
31. Not today Eddie Hobbs, you've been replaced
32. I wonder could I give grinds in something
33. Or do any of my parent friends need babysitting
32. Jesus, milk is pricey these days isn't it?
33. I could make my own like
34. Too far, reel it in
35. Who needs a gym, the WORLD is my gym!
36. Dumbbells are for the weak
37. Try carrying the economical weight on your shoulders that I am, huh?!
38. Christ, I'm dramatic today
39. So I've spent €1.14 today, meaning I can carry over the 35c I've saved onto tomorrow!
40. Being broke isn't all that bad
41. *silent weeping*
42. Wait, if I use contactless on my card, then it doesn't take it from my account for three days
43. So really, I just have to get today and tomorrow over with – and then I'm back rolling in it
44. Give me 40 spice bags and 80 pints!
45. And I'll donate to ALL of the charities!
46. (Well, maybe next month)
47. And now, we wait...
48. *calls up best mate* "So, remember that €6 you owe me..."
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