A single pringle and ready to mingle, or so they say.
Do you live with couples? Are all of your housemates in relationships?
Well then, at least we can resonate together. There may be some strength in that.
1. You're constantly conscious about letting them sit together on the sofa
Oh no! They've just come in the door and you're on the big couch and there's only a spot beside you and the other single chair. They simply HAVE to sit together. It would be awkward otherwise, right?
So you move yourself and your warmth to the other chair, all for the sake of THEIR relationship.
Wow, you're such a nice person. Surely someone's gonna wanna get it on with you? No?
2. There's no clean mugs left because they're all in their rooms
Relationships generally mean twice the amount of people. Twice the amount of people means twice the amount of tea which, in turn, means twice the amount of mugs.
And because they spend most of their time in bed together, the mugs are kept in their rooms.
You've been living for four months out of the same mug now. It's ok. It's just a rough patch.
3. They always retire to bed with their other half in the middle of your conversations
You were probably just on the outskirts of DMC territory aswell. And then comes the inevitable, "well, we're off to bed!"
So light and cheery.
That's fine. I'll just DMC with myself.
4. You're always kept awake by loud banging every night
Let's not get into fine detail here but this is probably, wait, this is definitely the most frustrating aspect of living with couples.
I do not need to be reminded when I'm fragile late at night.
5. You're sure to knock very loudly on their door and wait for the 'all clear' before you enter
So it's the morning after the night before and you know a few saucy activities went down next door.
Now you've just remembered that you left your laptop charger in their room and you HAVE to retrieve it.
Be sure to knock at least three times. Remember what happened last time!
6. You grab any opportunity to blame a housemate's significant other for the mess
"They need to know that if they're going to be staying over then they have to contribute to the cleaning up."
This is fair, right? It's also an excuse to promote the single life.
7. There is always a queue for the bathroom in the morning
And it kills you. You're always late for work because bloody what's-his-name was in the shower. And then when you go to brush your teeth later, he's in there again!
This time gelling his hair. Of course.