We Irish love chatting absolute brown to people. In fact, we could probably teach courses in it.
(Not very good courses, mind).
How many of these have you dropped into a conversation when it essentially runs dry?
1. “There’s a grand stretch in the evening, isnt there?”
Said every Irish woman to every other Irish woman, ever.
See also: “There’s grand drying out there, isn’t there?”
2. “When are you back to college?”
It’s important to note that this can’t really used on that little old lady you’re helping to cross the road.
Potential mature student? Who knows.
3. “Sure look, this is it”
WHAT IS WHAT?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!
4. “How’s himself/herself?”
Can literally be applied to anyone, and will be interpreted as such.
Girlfriend? Brother? Family dog? It’s anyone’s guess.
5. “Doing anything for the weekend?”
Rest assured the person ask does not care for your brunch plans, but they absolutely do care about awkward silences.
6. “Listen, at the end of the day…”
The only appropriate response to this is, “It’s night”.
7. “How’s she cuttin’?”
Honestly does anyone know the origin of this one? Do we want to know?
8. “And sure how’s the love life with yourself? Any fellah/woman yet?”
At every family gathering, expect your sexuality to be questioned by
Every.
Single.
Family member.
… Due to your lack of significant other. It’ll be expected of you to be married, divorced, remarried and pregnant at the next funeral.
It’s a tough life. Don’t make it tougher by chatting shite.
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