15 Characters That You’re Guaranteed To Find In Your Local Pub

Most of us have a local pub, let’s admit it.

You may not necessarily hangs out in the bar every day of the week but I’m sure we can all say that we have at least one that we regularly frequent, and we know the majority of the clientele that resides there.

So, it’s fairly likely that you’ll recognise one of these stock pub drinkers, perhaps in another person, or maybe in yourself. 

If the latter, maybe it’s time to reconsider life…

1) The Gambler

Spending their time between the high stool and the conveniently-located bookmakers next door, The Gambler can be seen alternating between taking sips of their pint and crumpling up little papers and throwing them on the ground.

2) The Cryer

Whether it be about the ex-girlfriend that no longer loves him, or his dog that passed away last week, The Cryer will most certainly ruin the lovely shoulders of your shirt with his blubbering at 2am.

3) The Auld Boy

To be fair, most of the people that spend a lot of time in the pub tend to be old men, due to the high likelihood of having disposable time and cash, and The Auld Boy is the epitome of this. He’ll tell you stories of a bygone era when things were much better, when he used to be the hardest lad in the town.

4) The Bore

God help you if you get into a conversation with this pub dweller. The Bore will trap you into such exciting topics such as the price of stamps and his recent lawnmower replacement.

5) The Mess

The craic is good, all the regulars are in good voice. However, The Mess just take things a bit too far and has one too many half’uns. Next thing there’s saliva flying and trousers are falling down.

6) The Couple

Every Friday and Saturday night, The Couple come and sit in the corner, talk about their week at work and do very little socialising, then go home at 1am and argue about why they don’t have any other friends.

7) The Cheap One

Never enter into a round with this character, who will always take a convenient trip to the loo or receive a call from the other half when their turn comes around. Then they’ll magically return when the others are too drunk to notice.

8) The Dancer

Normally a fairly shy character that keeps themselves to themselves, The Dancer suddenly undergoes a transformation into Michael Flatley when the potent mix of stout and jukebox tunes begins to filter through their system.

9) The Lovable Scumbag

He may look like he’s going to come in and rob the place but when you actually see past his dodgy persona, he’s a complete gentleman.

10) The Shite Talker

You’ll get a laugh out of this guy all right. Filling you in on all the stories of how much money he makes, how many girls he gets and all the places he goes. Yet, he spends every second of his free time in the pub. Add that one up?

11) The Craft Beer Guy

If you say the word hops one more time…

12) The One Who Doesn’t Understand Last Orders

When the barman calls last orders, you can (within reason) order as many pints as you want. But there’s always that person that says they’re fine for a drink, yet complains when they can’t get one afterwards.

13) The Fountain Of Knowledge

The Fountain lives for Thursday night’s pub quiz, but even more so for enlightening the others in the pub about random and unnecessary facts that nobody could give a toss about.

14) The Clumsy Lad

He really tries, God bless him. Whilst trying to get a round in for the table to make sure everyone likes him, The Clumsy Lad attempts to bring all the pints in one go, before ending up with a coat of bubbles.

15) The Rockefeller

The weekend rockstar who helps his da labouring during the week, before spending all his cash in the pub, trying to prove his worth. Empty wallet on a Monday morning, but hey, at least he’s popular?