A girls night out is not a sprint; it is a marathon, and to make it to the end you need to be prepared beyond measure.
You will no doubt need tissues, spare lippy, plasters, curry chips and a psychology degree to make it out the other side of it.
While each group of friends might have their own nuances and eccentricities, we nearly all follow some basic rules throughout the night.
1. The planning for girls night out on a Saturday starts Monday lunch time
Once you've gotten through those emails, and felt the full weight of Monday sitting on your shoulders, it is time to start planning the weekend.
2. There are always one or two that need more convincing than others...
"But where are we going to go? I'm not going if we can't dance".
3. The argument about the destination can go around and around with no real solution
Let's be honest, you will probably just go to your usual haunts - and hey, the dance floor is great, but there is always one or two girls who can't quite hack the club.
4. The excitement begins to wane as the week goes on
It's been a long week, you kind of just want your jammies and a glass of Pinot Grigio come Saturday.
5. Saturday finally limps around and you for sure, 100%, definitely cannot go because you have nothing to wear
"I'm serious, I don't have a scrap of clothing to wear tonight".
6. You finally scrape together an outfit and are reasonably confident that you look the best you have ever looked in your life
7. You know that pre-drinks can really set the tone for the rest of your evening
And Michelle is over there, looking a bit teary already...
8. You sip your wine like a lady. That is until the taxi arrives and you just poured yourself a full glass
Down the hatch!
9. The taxi man better have some banging tunes
And if he doesn't, you will provide them.
10. You regret your choice of shoes already, and you haven't even got to the club yet
You may look fabulous, but you can't feel your toes.
11. Any thoughts of sore toes goes out the window the SECOND Sean Paul starts on the dance floor
12. You get dragged into compulsory shots
No one has a choice. Who even suggested shots in the first place?
13. *Cue emotional conversations and crying*
Michelle's tears finally caught up with her from pre-drinks. You find yourself squeezed into a graffiti covered bathroom stall, with two of your best friends, trying to talk her down from an emotional ledge.
14. You unleash your inner make-up artist
Time to rub any streaks of mascara, and smudged make-up away, by just applying more make-up over it, with as much precision as a toddler drawing on a wall with a crayon.
15. You get a last dance in
You all dance your feet off, and are the last to leave the dance floor.
16. You make a beeline for the chipper
Absolutely nothing could distract you from your mission. The mission? Garlic cheese chips.
17. You hail a taxi and make the driver your best friend
You tell him some of your deepest, darkest secrets and know he won't judge you for it. At least, we hope he doesn't...
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