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16 Simple Rules For Bluffing Your Way Through GAA Season

By James Fenton

May 22, 2017 at 4:00pm

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We've now gone past the middle of May which means GAA season is well and truly upon us. 

As hurling and football fever gets set to sweep the nation, we've broken down some rules on how to fit in over the next few months if you're just not that into it.

Let's be honest, it's all anybody will be talking about:

1. Get yourself a wallchart

Most national newspapers will have included a free chart where you can keep track of results. If you've missed them, make your own. Charts are essential for Monday morning GAA conversations in the canteen. 

2. Always have 'hang sangitches' at the ready 

The humble ham sandwich is the food of choice for GAA fans around the country. You can keep your fancy avocado and hummus shite. 

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3. Prepare for a massive increase in Dublin supporters 

The capital's GAA-loving population usually increases tenfold from May until September. 

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4. Stay away from Hill 16

Unless you're a Dub of course. 

5. Head to Coppers of a Sunday

Many a GAA-loving couple began their romance on Harcourt Street on a balmy summer night. 

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6. But make sure to record 'The Sunday Game'

A weekly dose of Des Cahill is just what the doctor ordered. 

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7. And of course, have those all-important Mondays booked off work 

Because you will have a very sore head.

8. County colours are compulsory 

You wouldn't want anyone getting your county wrong. 

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9. All on-pitch action should be compared favourably to soccer

"Those diving feckers wouldn't last two minutes down in Thurles."

10. Any reference to the 'Mayo curse' is a great ice-breaker 

Will this be their year?

11. While stating that Gooch Cooper will be missed by Kerry will go a long way towards proving your knowledge 

You're a genius. 

12. Kilkenny will probably win the hurling 

Okay, they didn't win last year but this is generally what happens. 

13. And Dublin's strength in football is unfair on the 'weaker counties' 

Sure it's where all the money is. 

14. And they'll probably feckin' win as well.

Of course. 

15. You can't beat a GAA road trip

Portlaoise, Clones, Castlebar. Any excuse for a weekend jolly. 

16. Finally, and most importantly, enjoy it!

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

READ NEXT: An Ode to All-Ireland Final Day


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