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The Idiot's Guide To Cooking Phenomenal Fish

By lovinmanchester

December 20, 2016 at 12:18am


  • 1 Packet of mixed veg
  • 2 Pieces of fish (I used seabass but cod, hake, salmon, trout or any others will work too)
  • 1 Lemon
  • Soy Sauce
  • Parsley
  • Spinach
  • A few new potatoes

People are terrified of cooking fish. They think it's some big impossible riddle, and can only be cooked by chefs with decades of experience and a magic hat.

Time to blow that notion out of the fucking water (wahey) with this simple recipe. As always, just seven ingredients and it’ll be ready in less than 20 minutes. This literally couldn’t be any healthier for you either – the sort of dish you need to be eating on a Monday night when you realise just how much shit went in to your body over the weekend.

You’ll also have noticed just how much I hate doing the washing up, so this meal like many of the others has just pot to be washed! Idiot-proof...


Step 1

Preheat your oven to 180C/360F/Gas 5, then get a really large piece of tin foil and lash it out on to a work bench.

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Step 2

Smear a shit load of olive oil on to the tinfoil. This helps it stop sticking and adds to the sauce.

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Step 3

Lash the spuds in to boiling water. To speed things up cut the fuckers in half.

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Step 4

Cut the veggies up a little thinner than they already are. We want them to cook fast.

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Step 5

Lash them on to the tin foil.

Step 6

Fuck the spinach on top of the veg and then place the fish on top. Leave the skin on the fish if it has some (it's really good for you!)

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Step 7

Cut a lemon lengthways and then cut it in to 6 nice wedges. Fish and lemon are a match made in heaven.

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Step 8

Squeeze each of the lemons as they are going in to the tin foil so as the juices start flowing.

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Step 9

Curl the edges of the tinfoil up and start pouring in the soy sauce. Give it a good lash in there, and stick a bit more olive oil on top too,

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Step 10

Season the bastard up with a bit of sea salt or regular salt if you have it.

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Step 11

And some more...

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Step 12

Wrap it all up making sure that it is fully sealed. All that goodness is sealed in there now, and all you have to do is lash it in to the oven at 180C or 360F for about 15 minutes.

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Step 13

While the fish is cooking pick the parsley. Then chop the stuff up as fucking fine as you possibly can

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Step 14

At this stage your spuds will be ready so strain them off and put them on the plate.

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Step 15

The fish will come out perfectly cooking with a sauce, veggies packed full of flavour and not another thing to worry about! How fucking cool is that? completely idiot proof!

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Step 16

So all you have to do now is add in the chopped parsley and pile it all up on top of the potatoes. Don’t forget to pour the juices from the package over the fish and veg! Fucking gorgeous. You have just created the healthiest easy meal to make in the history of the world, and restaurants could charge you €20+ for the privilege.Nice work, cap'n.

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