As the famed comic duo D’Unbelievables once said, “Ireland would be a lovely little country if we could only roof it.”
For all our quirks and foibles, with the weather being an obvious example, we certainly know how to enjoy the lighter side of life and make fun of ourselves when required.
Just like Maltesers, Irish people are light and unique and there are numerous examples of our funny little habits that will always make us smile even if they literally make no sense in any other country.
Whether it’s our struggles with small talk or our penchant for saying “goodbye” at the end of a phone call, most of us will relate to more than a few of the following:
1. “Sure this is it” is the secret code for ending a conversation
Who would have thought that these four little words would contain so much power? Whether your mate has failed an exam, won the lotto or has lost their granny, rolling out the “sure this is it” is a foolproof way to bring any and all awkward conversations to a halt.
2. The Toy Show
Every year, families around Ireland gather to watch a man in his 40s cavort around a TV studio dressed as the most popular Disney character of the moment.
Traditional Christmas jumpers and a few rogue swear words are always guaranteed.
3. Repeatedly saying “bye” at the end of a phone call
You’ve both shared all your news and your next catch-up has been arranged. So, of course, it’s now time to bid each other adieu 7,000 times over the course of the next five minutes.
4. “Stop” means “Please carry on”
Say “stop” to someone anywhere else and they will do just that. In Ireland, it means “hook this juicy gossip to my veins and never, ever stop talking.”
5. Pausing to reflect before the Six O’clock News
In Ireland, we have to wait until a minute past six for the day’s headlines. This is so the nation can take stock while listening to the sound of a church bell and watching people stare into the distance.
6. “What time is it where you are?”
You could be calling home from holidays, telling your folks about your miraculous escape from a hotel fire and the first thing they’d respond is “Oh right… what time is it over there anyway?”
7. The scandal that was Garth-gate
It says a lot when the biggest news story of 2014 was the fact that the world’s biggest country star would in fact NOT be playing at Croke Park. We’re still not over it.
8. That time we sent an actual stuffed turkey to the Eurovision
Just because we treat Dustin like any other functioning member of society in Ireland, it doesn’t mean the rest of Europe won’t find him slightly odd.
9. Insults are the sign of a strong friendship
Go to any Irish wedding and the best man’s speech will be littered with abuse pertaining to the bride and groom. Mind you, it’s the happy couple that will usually be laughing more than anyone else.
10. Putting a ring inside a cake is an annual tradition
Every Halloween, Irish people put the lives of their party guests at risk by placing a little piece of metal inside a dessert. And, sure enough, every Halloween we get still get stuck into the barmbrack in the hopes that the lucky ring will be ours.