Could there possibly be anything worse than driving for hours on a dull, dimly lit motorway, dreaming of the Supermac's you're going to have when you finally reach that garage that you just know is coming up, only to arrive and realise... it's a McDonald's?
We've all been there – planning on snacking on a very specific, particular delicacy, only to rock up to your chosen rest stop to find that their supply of chocolate bars is limited, and they don't even have Club Lemon.
Well fear not: in a Pulitzer-worthy career-defining piece of investigate journalism, we have the ultimate guide to where to stop for petrol on Irish motorways. DROP EVERYTHING.
1. Topaz, Junction 8 off the M8
This is one of the best service stations – hands down – that you'll find on Irish roads. There's a huge Topaz, with all sorts of snacks and deli counters (more than one deli counter, we swear), really clean toilets upstairs that you do not – we repeat, do not, have to request a key for – and there's even a McDonald's Drive-Thru.
Plus, there's something kind of amazing about seeing it loom up ahead of you as you crest the hill at Cashel... Poetry. Pure, unadulterated, petrol-related poetry.
2. Barack Obama Plaza, Junction 23 off the M7
Honestly, this could be the world's biggest shithole, and we'd still love it for the sheer gasness of the name. Ah, Moneygall definitely milked the most out of Obama's presidency, didn't they?
Weirdly – because, y'know, Obama's American – there's a Supermac's at BO Plaza, rather than a McDonald's, but we forgive them because it's BARACK OBAMA PLAZA. It can do no wrong. There's a Topaz filling station, a Spar, the aforementioned Supermac's (with Papa John's pizza, of course) and Tim Horton's baked goods.
3. Enfield Services, Junction 9-10 off the M9
It's an Applegreen – which appears like a shining beacon of health and clean living in the dusty, CO2-smogged distance – but it has a couple of strings to its bow, including a restaurant (a restaurant, you say!), a Burger King and a Costa Coffee.
It's also got a massive shop, showers (notions), a smoothie bar, and a children's play area – plus it's open 24 hours and has free wi-fi. We love.