50 Shades Of Grey was one of the biggest selling books of all time, introducing mammy porn to the masses in a way that none of us really expected.
But now, something even better – and more left field – has emerged on to the scene.
50 Nerds Of Grey is dirty talk as you’ve never heard before, and it’s well worth a follow to liven up your timeline…
‘Do you want a happy ending?’ she asked, massaging his back.
‘Yes please’ he replied.
‘OK’ she said ‘Jon Snow’s still alive.’#GameofThrones— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) April 24, 2016
‘I love listening to a man who can make me feel desperate and humiliated,’ she said, squirming.
‘All right,’ he said, and called IT support.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) April 16, 2016
They tried it standing up, sitting down and bent over the kitchen table but it was no good – they just couldn’t get a decent wi-fi signal.
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) April 8, 2016
‘I’m all yours tonight!’ she cried, ‘Do something to me you’d never normally dare do to a woman!’
‘All right’ he said, and made eye contact.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) March 30, 2016
He froze with fear. His control had gone, his end was sticky and there was no escape!
There was no doubt about it, he needed a new keyboard.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) March 25, 2016
‘Harder!’ she screamed, ‘Harder!’
‘All right,’ he said. ‘What’s the square root of nine times twelve divided by six point three recurring?’— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) March 24, 2016
‘Say bad things to me,’ she begged, ‘Terrible, unforgivable things!’
‘OK,’ he said, ‘The Force Awakens isn’t as good as The Phantom Menace.’— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) February 27, 2016
She squirmed as he leaned over and whispered softly in her ear.
‘Asdfg . . . hjkl . . . uiop.’
She loved it when he talked qwerty.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) February 7, 2016
Before making love, he always fumbled around for ages, unable to find what he was looking for – he was well known for his 404-play.
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) March 18, 2016
She had a special name for one of those nights when she was left disappointed because it turned out smaller than she’d hoped.
An #AppleEvent— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) March 21, 2016
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