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08th Jul 2021

The Basic B’s Guide to Love Island episode 9

Fiona Frawley

I think a lot of people were conflicted between watching Love Island and some match that was apparently on last night, luckily I don’t involve myself in that type of business.

My attention was focused on one screen (well two, Love Island and Love Island Twitter). But it seems clear that whether you tuned into the football or the villa, your evening was spent being stressed out by men.

The episode began with the OG girls coming back to the villa to meet the new girls. The put on a strong front, standing in a line holding hands and taking deep breaths like they were walking into certain death. A series of extremely high pitched “Hellaaaow!”s proceeded. Tensions were high and my nerves were shot.

Soon after, the announcement came that the new girls would be going on a series of dates with boys of their choosing for starters, mains and dessert. I will take this moment to embed my own personal tweet because no one will ever do it like Tommy Fury did.

The breakdown of the dates went like this.

Lucinda:

  • Brad for starters
  • Hugo for main
  • Aaron for dessert

Millie:

  • Aaron for starters
  • Liam for main
  • Hugo for dessert

Cut straight to Brad denying Rachel like he’s Peter and the roosters about to crow, using the same lines on Lucinda he’d used on Rachel about 11 hours previously.

https://twitter.com/PurityMalife/status/1412885710814818316?s=20

I’m presuming they’ll couple up with each other and, please god, be swiftly booted off, but it will all depend on what order the boys are called to step forward in during the recoupling. Hugo could pick her first, or Aaron. Hugo would work best for Lucinda’s longevity in the villa if she’s looking for more time to promote her online fashion boutique and snag a few PLT deals, but it’s hard to say what way it’ll go at the moment.

Meanwhile on Millie’s table, Aaron had prepared a starter with what sounds like every ingredient on earth, and there wasn’t much of a spark to report. Millie really came to life when #6ft6 Liam showed up with her main course, allowing us to sit back and enjoy her incredible flirting technique.

https://twitter.com/sorobotic/status/1412889991399755783?s=20

These two appeared to be the first people in the villa who are actually attracted to each other, and Faye did give Liam the green light to crack on with whoever earlier on in the episode. Obviously, she said it in the way I say to my fella I “don’t” want a surprise when he’s going to the shop, but I’d say Liam will take her at face value. Meanwhile over on Lucinda’s table, she was telling Hugo how much she loves his classiness.

Next up was Lucinda’s dessert with Aaron, who took the time to mentally plan their wedding seating arrangements and set a reminder on his phone to dump Sharon, who was up on the balcony telling anyone who’d listen that she doesn’t give a shit.

Lucinda took the opportunity to stir the pot and say Sharon was the only girl who hadn’t said hello to her yet, further solidifying Aaron’s sudden and intense dislike for her as a “fiery” woman.

Turns out Millie can turn on the charm for anyone, as her date with Hugo was also extremely cute. Both girls seem to like him, but as new people come in it’s always hard to know if they’re actually interested, or just aware of how popular he is with viewers. It’s always a good move to couple up with the fan fave.

After the dates Aaron quickly pulled Sharon for a chat to tell her it was over, coming up with every reason under the sun other than the fact he wants to crack on with Lucinda.

Our main takeaways from the episode are:

  • Millie’s a bit of a cutie and we’re happy for her, whoever she couples up with
  • Brad and Aaron need to be booted off as a matter of urgency
  • Not one of these new girls has an iota of interest in Jake and his penchant for small white toes

Til tomorrow, my friends.

Header image via Instagram/Love Island

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