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23rd Sep 2017

The Ultimate Test: How Irish Is Your Mammy?


The Irish Mammy: a common conversation topic among friends and the envy of all. 

Each one like a snowflake and wonderfully unique, yet in sharing the common traits that make them the Mammies we know and love today.

We love them, that’s a given.

But the real pressing question, the question that can divide friendships, is how Irish is your Mammy? 

In the grand scheme of mothers nationwide, where does yours fit in? 

Have a read of these questions and see how many you can tick off.

1. Does she wear a dressing gown?

A classic Irish Mammy accessory. A versatile garment that is suitable for both indoor and outdoor wear and that seems to last at least 20 years. 

Extra points if your Mammy has been wearing the same one all your whole life.

 Minus points if you call it a house coat, because that’s incorrect.

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2. Does she still use rollers in her hair? 

A GHD, a curler, a rotating electric hair brush – none of those compare to the sheer power of velcro rollers. 

They can usually be found in a crumbling plastic bag, and/or the glove compartment of the car. 

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3. Does she send screenshot worthy text messages? 

The ones I receive? Riddled with typos due to texting with no glasses on, that require far too much time to decipher. 

Another favourite is removing ny uncsry letrs. 

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4. Does she use phrases like “a certain type of person” with a knowing look?

Never the one to curse or use mean names, she prefers to rely on vague descriptions, with her eyes communicating the truth. 

Over time, you can distinguish one look from another and soon she doesn’t need to say any words at all for you to know exactly what she’s thinking.

5. Does she believes dresses go great over leggings?

Without fail, every outfit for a night out can be somewhat enhanced by a pair of leggings. 

Another perfect accessory to a dress? Jeans. It may not be your taste, but there’s no denying that Mammies have style.

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6. Does she believe that if you’re going to do something, do it right? 

Your Mammy will never let you do things by halves, and you can always count on her for some motivation. 

I’m talking no paper napkins at a family gathering, a fresh face of make-up before you go out and breaking up all the cardboard boxes for recycling.

7. Does she loves an ‘aul pep talk? 

She refuses to leave a question unanswered. You can always count on her for advice and a life lesson. 

Telling your Mammy a tiny bit of information is enough for her to sort out your life, get you a job, tell you to dump that guy and make you a nice roast dinner all at the same time.

8. Is telling you of someone’s death genuine gossip for them?

It’s not that they’re happy this person has died. In fact, they’re probably one of the first ones to send a Mass card. 

However, it’s the sheer scandal of it all that delights her. Phone calls are often opened with a “you’ll never guess” …

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9. Without fail, can you find them in front of the Late Late every week?

Most likely in their dressing gown (again, not a house coat), and with a cup of tea. 

They claim to have no interest, that they don’t even know who’s on this week, but god forbid you try start a conversation when Tubbers is speaking.

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