The Irish mammy gets a lot of love, so we thought it’s about time we celebrated the nation’s grannies.
Grandparents are always cooler than your parents, since they don’t have to worry about any of the whole raising you business. This means that they can actually be a bit of bad influence at times, like a cool older sibling. Just a way older sibling.
But what exactly is it that makes an Irish granny an Irish granny? So glad you asked…
1. Saying whatever the hell they like
The beautiful bit about ageing is how much you stop caring about what other people think of you, so granny dearest is free to tell it like it is.
Usually to hilarious effect.
2. Mixing up their grandkids’ names
Often taking a stab in the dark and simply hoping for the best.
3. In times of trouble, they have your back with the Rosary beads
4. In the most desperate of times, a candle WILL be lit
5. They possess many tins of biscuits – but one will always contain a sewing kit
So it’s imperative that you choose wisely.
6. Inevitably, they’ll compliment you on the width of your legs
“Lovely and thick so they are!”
7. Dispensing relationship wisdom
Always trust your elders in this department.
8. An obsession with overfeeding you
Sure, you may be a fully grown adult, but you’ll always be a growing boy/girl in their eyes.
9. Plying you with booze when your parents aren’t looking
The first time this happened you realised what a total bad-arse your granny is.
10. Slipping cash into your hand when no one’s looking
Which inevitably leads to a token response of, “Oh stop gran, would you go away out of that!”
This act usually only lasts about 10 seconds, lest your grandmother mistakes it for sincerity.
11. Casual political incorrectness
It’s true, some of their views can be a bit, umm, old-fashioned at times, and maybe you’re not always gonna agree with your gran – but you’ll still recognise she’s a legend all the same.
Did we miss anything quintessentially granny? Let us know in the comments.
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