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15th Jun 2017

11 Things That (Nearly) All Irish Grannies Have In Common With Each Other

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The Irish mammy gets a lot of love, so we thought it’s about time we celebrated the nation’s grannies.

Grandparents are always cooler than your parents, since they don’t have to worry about any of the whole raising you business. This means that they can actually be a bit of bad influence at times, like a cool older sibling. Just a way older sibling.

But what exactly is it that makes an Irish granny an Irish granny? So glad you asked…

1. Saying whatever the hell they like

The beautiful bit about ageing is how much you stop caring about what other people think of you, so granny dearest is free to tell it like it is.

Usually to hilarious effect.

2. Mixing up their grandkids’ names

Often taking a stab in the dark and simply hoping for the best. 

Mrs Doyle

3. In times of trouble, they have your back with the Rosary beads

Rosary Beads

“Don’t worry – granny’s got this”

4. In the most desperate of times, a candle WILL be lit

Candle

“Time for the big guns”

5. They possess many tins of biscuits – but one will always contain a sewing kit

So it’s imperative that you choose wisely.

Sewing

6. Inevitably, they’ll compliment you on the width of your legs

“Lovely and thick so they are!”

Awkward Thank You

7. Dispensing relationship wisdom

Always trust your elders in this department.

8. An obsession with overfeeding you

Sure, you may be a fully grown adult, but you’ll always be a growing boy/girl in their eyes.

Force Feeding

9. Plying you with booze when your parents aren’t looking

The first time this happened you realised what a total bad-arse your granny is. 

Granny Middle Finger

Putting the G in granny

10. Slipping cash into your hand when no one’s looking

Which inevitably leads to a token response of, “Oh stop gran, would you go away out of that!” 

This act usually only lasts about 10 seconds, lest your grandmother mistakes it for sincerity. 

Granny Giving Money

“Just be cool”

11. Casual political incorrectness

It’s true, some of their views can be a bit, umm, old-fashioned at times, and maybe you’re not always gonna agree with your gran – but you’ll still recognise she’s a legend all the same.

Death To Hipsters

Pic: 9gag.com

Did we miss anything quintessentially granny? Let us know in the comments.

READ NEXT: 17 Things You’ll Recognise When You’re An Irish Person Living Abroad

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