This Former Rugby Player's Wikipedia Page Has Been Hacked And It's Absolutely Gas
If nothing's brightened your day so far, this definitely will
A former Ireland rugby player and ever-so-slightly controversial interviewee has had his Wikipedia page hacked, and it's all sorts of bizarre.
The sportsperson in question? Mr Neil Francis.
Even though his Wikipedia page has been changed back as of now, the earlier product was really something to behold.
According to Joe, Neil Francis’ biography had been updated to include details of his role in the shooting of Al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden, the chief eulogiser at the funeral of Pope John Paul II, the former President of the World Bank, and as a key figure in the first ever moon landing.
The page went on to say that Francis was born on 'The first New Moon of Zion', stating his occupation as Warlord and part-time Dwarf Juggler to go along with his current role as Setanta Sports pundit and Sunday Independent columnist.
Here are some more examples of the truly excellent editing that went on today:
"Francis' tireless efforts in the name of world preservation are well known. In 1978, he secretly restored a 15,000 sq ft Aztec temple, buried under 500 feet of mud since 1675, using only an old Colgate toothbrush and a small thimble of white spirits, in two days.
"Francis' charity work in Latin America has earned him the nickname of 'The Irish Kriss Akabusi'."
On his involvement in the Watergate scandal:
"In 1972, Francis, then a mere child, discovered and exposed the burglary at the Watergate hotel, the fallout forcing then President Richard Nixon to resign, therefore ended a period of innocence in contemporary America. However Francis and Nixon reconciled shortly after and in 1994, Francis made an emotional impromptu three and a half hour speech at Richard Nixon’s funeral, for which he received a 45 minute standing ovation."
On his involvement with the Space Shuttle programme:
"Although very young at the time, Francis helped design the landing pattern for Apollo 11, which was the first manned shuttle to land on the surface of the moon."
It is widely believed, incorrectly, that the words Neil Armstrong uttered before he stepped on the moon were 'One small step for man...one giant leap for mankind'.However this is incorrect. He actually said: 'One small step for Fran....one giant leap for mankind.'
"NASA claim that without Francis' involvement, the USA may have lost the space race to communist USSR, and therefore Francis may have been largely, or some say wholly, responsible for avoiding World War III."
On his personal life:
"Francis has never married and in 1986 was voted by Playgirl as "The World's Sexiest Man", narrowly beating Mr. T and Geraldo Rivera."
On his other achievements:
"On July 16th 2008, Francis ran against Usain Bolt in a charity event, held in Spiddal in Co. Galway, in aid of The Sligo Owl Sanctuary (S.O.S.), and comfortably beat Bolt over 60 metres. In the long jump at the same event, Francis jumped 28ft, one of the longest jumps ever recorded."
Absolutely top notch.