I Hate To Tell You This But Real Christmas Trees Are Absolutely Rank
They have no place in the home and you all need to accept that
Okay children, gather round.
I'm here to break some news to you...
Real Christmas trees have no place in the home.
Disagree? Let me show you light.
Let's start with the basics - the absolute...
I can't speak to this personally because I've never ever bothered to engage with a real tree, but I've seen people horsing trees down Camden St with the poor victim who's been chosen to help and it does not look like festive joy on their faces.
What they will enjoy, however, is a massive festive fight when they get home.
I've seen articles online offering "tips and tricks" to get rid of the "Common Christmas Tree Bugs" that live in real trees.
Why would you willingly bring this into your life and your home?
It's said that while insects tree-dwelling insects go dormant in cold weather, once they're nice and cosy inside your living room they come back to life.
A true Christmas nightmare.
As a child, my allergies always got worse around Christmas. I was told it was because I was eating more sweets than usual. A convenient story.
I now know it was the tree.
Christmas tree allergies are caused by "mould spores" in the branches and foliage which steadily increase once the tree is placed indoors.
Pesky pine needles everywhere. No one needs this in their day.
When it's all over and you should be eating turkey leftover sandwiches with your fake tree safely stored away in its box - you'll be trying to figure out how to dispose of your "beautiful" real tree.
January is already the worst month of the year without this stress.
That beautiful real tree doesn't smell so good now, does it?