The 19 Stages Of A Lads Night Out In Your 30s

A whole different ball game to your twenties...

Lads Night Out

1. The usual suspects are on the Whatsapp group early in the day

'Scoops later?'


2. The ones with kids and other responsibilities get their excuses in early 

And they're secretly delighted 


3. While others contemplate if the inevitable hangover is worth it

The 'thirties hangover.' A whole different beast to that perfectly manageable twenties version.


4. There's the debate over which pub to go to

"We went there last week and it was SHITE."


5. There are those who can't wait and get the cans in at home

It's only 2 o'clock but what else is there to do?


6. While the sensible ones make sure they're getting food into them...

Ideally round the mother's house


7. Everyone gathers for whatever evening sport is being shown in the pub

Norwich City v Derby County you say? Well that's pretty unmissable.


8. Which finishes about half seven so now everyone has to speak to each other

"Sooooo. How's the new job?"


9. A couple of more drinks and the slagging and messing begins in earnest

The harsher the insult the better.


10. Those in relationships send sneaky affectionate texts to their loved ones

"Ya big sap!"


11. The deep and meaningful conversations begin

"I just feel like I'm never going to reach my potential, ya know?"


12. Someone always goes home without telling anyone

"Where's Joe? Ah for fuck sake."


13. While one or two always get ideas about hitting the club 

"Sure what harm?"


14. But you arrive there and realise everyone's ten years younger than your crew

What is this?


15. And the music is so loud that you can't have a conversation 

This is shite...


16. The collective decision is made to go home

It is 1am, after all.


17. But not before stopping for food 

"Three kebabs, three cheeseburgers and six bags of chips please."


18. You won't see each other for months so saying goodbye is hard

"Look after yourself, chief."


19. You retire to bed absolutely exhausted

Never again...


READ NEXT: 19 Things You Quickly Realise When You Hit Your Mid 20s In Ireland

Written By

James Fenton

Son of Munster folk, nurtured along the banks of the Royal Canal. Recent tea convert. Drinker of cans. Ireland lover. It'd be a lovely little country if we could only roof it.