1. Your parents see them as just another family member
They’re allowed stroll in and out at their leisure.
2. Nobody insults you more
‘Tis all in good fun.
3. They believe getting you drunk is a surefire way of cheering you up
Which is only half true.
4. You can never unfriend them because they’ve got so much dirt on you
The world doesn’t need to know these things.
5. You have a secret language
Which is gobbledegook to everyone else.
6. They always tag along on your family holidays
Do they even need to be asked?
7. People don’t invite you places ‘cos they have to invite them too
Leaving you forever alone. Together, which is fine.
8. They’ve woken up in your house more times than you’d care to count
90% of nights out end in a sleepover.
9. You constantly bicker at each other on a night out
Leaving everyone else wondering if you’re a couple.
10. You’ve been shushed in the cinema
Because this particular piece of gossip cannot wait.
11. Your heart breaks if they sit next to someone else on a bus
You’ve lost them forever.
12. And finally, you share a song
Nobody else is allowed to claim it.