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Published 16:33 29 Mar 2017 BST
Add us as a preferred source on Google »They're allowed stroll in and out at their leisure.
'Tis all in good fun.
Which is only half true.
The world doesn't need to know these things.
Which is gobbledegook to everyone else.
Do they even need to be asked?
Leaving you forever alone. Together, which is fine.
90% of nights out end in a sleepover.
Leaving everyone else wondering if you're a couple.
Because this particular piece of gossip cannot wait.
You've lost them forever.
Nobody else is allowed to claim it.
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