Whether you're one of those who goes home every weekend or once a year for Christmas, there's always certain things that come back to haunt you (or pleasantly surprise you) when you return home for the weekend!
1. You instantly remember why you left in the first place
Queue the arguments, lack of freedom, doing the dishes and asking for lifts. DISASTER.
2. Getting quizzed about your life like there's no tomorrow
You cannot talk fast enough to update them with all the latest goings on in your life.
3. You get to enjoy Mammy's delicious home cooking
So that's what chicken's supposed to taste like?
4. There is always toilet paper
And none of that Tesco Better Value shite. This is proper bog roll as soft as Egyptian cotton and infused with scents of aloe vera.
5. There is always food
The fridge being full is a miraculous thing. Enjoy it while it lasts. Third serving of Ben and Jerry's anyone?
6. You have to squeeze in all your relations and friends in the space of 24 hours
Tea with granny, then lunch with your one, followed by a visit to the cousins and then out for the night with the girlies/lads.
7. The speech from Mammy about the changes to the neighbourhood
"You'll never guessed who passed away there last week now."
"Oh yeah there's a new family in that house down the road there. Very quiet. Haven't met any of them yet."
"I was talking to Mary last night and she told me they're building an extension onto their house."
8. You'll forget that you've to turn the immersion on
You're too deep into your life as a city slicker that you've forgotten how the immersion works.
Imagine having to wait for hot water. Disgraceful.
9. You're shocked when you learn that they don't serve cocktails in the local
Not even a mojito to be found! Scandalous!
10. You get money off your grandparents
They snnnaaake you a twenty into your hand as you hug them goodbye.
Or a fifty if you're very lucky indeed.
11. Everyone goes out really early
And they get extremely dolled up for a trip down to the local. Heels, tan, fake lashes.
It all seems a bit excessive?
12. No-one buys rounds here
This is a bit of a nuisance but sure at least Paddy Doesn't Pay Ya Back won't benefit in this environment. Muahahaha.