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19 Thoughts Every Irish Person Has When They're Invited To A Wedding

By James Fenton

September 15, 2018 at 3:32pm


1. Shite.

Why would they do this?

2. Would it be awful if I said no?

I think I WILL say no...

3. I barely even know this person.

I've seen them about twice in the past 15 years.

4. More money.

New outfit, hotel, drink, travel. More feckin' money.

5. They better not be having it abroad.

If they do, I'm not going.

6. Although we could get a holiday out of it...


7. I wonder who else is invited?

Don't wanna be sitting on me Toblerone...

8. Will there be any free drink at this?

Actual dealbreaker.

9. Should I stay one night or two?

Will there be drinks the next day? A BBQ?

10. Do I ask a plus one?

Sure, they like me now. But have they seen the state of me on Jagerbombs?

11. How much money do I give the couple?

200 QUID? They'll get 50 and they'll like it.

12. How did he convince someone to marry him anyway?

He used to eat chalk.

13. Do I have something else on that day?

Like, perhaps... nothing?

14. I wonder is there anyone living nearby I can stay with?


15. Or can I scab a lift off anyone?

Yeah... of course I'll pay towards petrol...

16. NONE of this is worth the hassle

I'm not going!

17. Sure, look.

Ah sure fuck it.

18. Actually, it'll probably be great craic.

Weddings always are. And they're definitely worth all that money!

19. Aaaaaaaand, I'm broke again...


READ NEXT: 18 Non Traditional Ideas For An Amazing Irish Wedding


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