31 Reasons Why You Should Never EVER Consider Visiting Ireland
An absolute dump of a place
While people all over the world have this weird desire to visit Ireland we just don't get it?
We live and work here and looking around is just depressing. There just isn't anything to see and the scenery is dreadful.
Whatever you do don't even think about booking a flight here and if you are unlucky enough to end up here you'll probably be best off staying in your hotel room.
What a complete non country....
1. The roads are all boring to drive on
2. The colours are drab and non-descript
3. The villages are seriously... meh
4. And you can forget about finding a cosy place to call home
5. The lakes are positively ordinary
6. The West Coast will do nothing for you
7. While the North is one giant letdown
8. And heaven forbid you go looking for any sort of history around here
9. The buildings look the same as in LITERALLY every other country in the world
10. Rush hour is a bloody nightmare
11. Don't even get us started about the beaches. Barren wastelands
12. There's absolutely nothing to do
13. The people here have no imagination
14. The cities are just ghastly
15. While even the modern buildings are an abomination
16. Of course it could be worse – you could LIVE here
18. You'll get bored of the landscape in no time
19. And those national parks. CONCRETE JUNGLES
20. You'll be lucky if you get one good photo when you're here
21. But sure what would you be snapping anyway? All the tourist attractions are made-up nothings
22. There's nothing nice to eat
23. And it's surrounded by water. Everyone hates water.
24. The waves are a complete let-down
25. And our CULTURE? Sure Irish culture is non-existent
26. Overpopulation everywhere you look
27. While the only good thing to be said about the sunsets is that they make this godforsaken land too dark to see
28. Why would anybody want to look at a view like this?
29. Who wants to drive on roads like these?
30. Who wants to spend their entire life being jostled about by relentless crowds?
31. Yuck. Do yourself a favour – cancel any plans you had of coming here. Absolutely nothing to see here
Have you listened to the latest episode of Before Brunch yet? Subscribe here