13 Telltale Signs You’re Too Damn Old For The 12 Pubs Of Christmas

Christmas is a time for seeing old friends, reminiscing, and consuming unholy quantities of food and alcohol – the 12 Pubs of Christmas is an integral part of that tradition.

However, you come to a point in your life when you question when you’re still up for participating in this gruelling marathon of indulgence. Does it still make sense for your wallet? Do you really want to be that fuckin’ hungover on one of your precious days off?  

If any of the following signs sound familiar, your 12 Pubs days just might be numbered…

1. You’d rather be at home watching Home Alone in front of the fire

Your heart aches to realise you’ve traded in a night of pure comfort for the cold trudge towards Hangover-town.

2. You’re too lazy to walk from pub to pub

Just when you started to get comfortable, find your groove, the exodus begins and you’re forced to down that second pint you stupidly just bought.

3. Your main objective on entering a new pub is not getting a drink, but finding a good seat

Your priorities have changed ever so slightly over the years.

4. Your suggestion of “can’t it just be the Four Pubs?” falls on deaf ears

“Are we married to the whole 12 thing? Yes? Okay then!”

5. You’ve come to realise you’re physically incapable of downing 12 drinks

Please don’t make me.

6. The rules for each pub are stupid

Don’t you tell me what to do.

7. No force on Earth will make you do a shot

8. You feel like an absolute tool in a Christmas jumper

But I suppose they do make it possible for bouncers to spot drunken louts at a hundred paces.

9. You sympathise with the auld lads who roll their eyes when you and your gang enter the pub 

Believe me, I don’t want us to be here either.

10. You wish they’d turn down that damn music

Some of us are trying to converse.

11. Each pub is too damn crowded

You know where’s never claustrophobic? My living room.

12. You’re more excited for your soakage than the booze

It is the only time of year you get to sample the delicacies of Supermacs, after all.

13. You’ve already planned on making your Irish exit 

The ultimate sign that you’ve officially admitted to yourself that the 12 Pubs is a young ‘uns game.

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