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15th April 2019
10:30am BST
Learning to drive is an important step into adulthood.
It finally allows you that illustrious independence that you so long sought after, and it means you can feck off whenever you like.
But learning to drive is also hard, and when your teacher is Mammy or Daddy, it can be near impossible.
If you've ever taken driving lessons from your parents - and lived to tell the tale - then you'll recognise some of these things:
You're in the drivers seat, but that doesn't stop them from putting all their weight on the brake on their side - that isn't even there.
They're in a moment of sheer panic as you turn a corner, and call you every name in your family before they land on yours.
You can see the fear in their eyes as they hold on for dear life as you change gears.
Lol no, but there's probably a lot of shouting, tears and slammed doors.
Even putting the key in the ignition makes them jump off their seat.
And walks home. Angrily.
Your parents aren't usually religious people, but getting into a car with you is enough for them to ask the guys above for help.
So they can drive and show you how it's done right.
Before you've even turned on the engine.
And yours. You can't travel two centimeters without them telling you to take it easy, eaaaasy now.
"There's no need to rush"
"The speed limit is a guide, not an objective"
"Always stay calm"
"Expect the unexpected"
All. The. Time.
While you're still driving and then blame you for swerving all over the road.
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