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15th Apr 2019

13 Moments That Always Happen When You’re Learning To Drive With An Irish Parent

clodagh

Learning to drive is an important step into adulthood.

It finally allows you that illustrious independence that you so long sought after, and it means you can feck off whenever you like.

But learning to drive is also hard, and when your teacher is Mammy or Daddy, it can be near impossible.

If you’ve ever taken driving lessons from your parents – and lived to tell the tale – then you’ll recognise some of these things:

1. They step on the invisible brake

You’re in the drivers seat, but that doesn’t stop them from putting all their weight on the brake on their side – that isn’t even there.

2. They call you every name possible

They’re in a moment of sheer panic as you turn a corner, and call you every name in your family before they land on yours.

3. They grip the arm rest

You can see the fear in their eyes as they hold on for dear life as you change gears.

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4. You seek emancipation from your parents

Lol no, but there’s probably a lot of shouting, tears and slammed doors.

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5. They jump at everything you do

Even putting the key in the ignition makes them jump off their seat.

6. One of you storms out

And walks home. Angrily.

7. They pray for divine intervention

Your parents aren’t usually religious people, but getting into a car with you is enough for them to ask the guys above for help.

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8.They make you pull over

So they can drive and show you how it’s done right.

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9. They tell you to slow down

Before you’ve even turned on the engine.

10. They fear for their life

And yours. You can’t travel two centimeters without them telling you to take it easy, eaaaasy now.

11. They tell you every cliche there is

“There’s no need to rush”

“The speed limit is a guide, not an objective”

“Always stay calm”

“Expect the unexpected”

12. They pull the handbrake

All. The. Time.

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13. They try to take over the steering wheel

While you’re still driving and then blame you for swerving all over the road.

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