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20th Dec 2016

Here’s How Much You Actually Would Need To Please Eartha Kitt In The Song ‘Santa Baby’

Liz

As we’ve mentioned previously, Christmas is the one time of the year when it’s acceptable to sing the national anthem of gold digging and be okay with it.

But how much did Eartha Kitt really want from Santa? We thought it would be fun to tally up all of her requests and find out how much Santa would be out if he actually followed through.

(Note: all prices are from eBay unless otherwise specified.)

1. Sable

Price: $400 – $28,000 (€380 – €26,830)

Sable

The sable is a small carnivorous mammal that looks a little like a red panda. A sable in this song refers to a coat made from its, usually costing thousands of euro. 

You’d have blood on your hands, but apparently sables are a nuisance so that makes it sort of ok?

2. 1954 convertible, light blue

Worth: $109,000 (€104,435)

1954 Convertible

Unfortunately, eBay did not return anything for this except for miniature cars. The song also doesn’t specify the brand of the car. The closest match is a 1954 light blue Corvette Roadster, found at cars-on-line.com.

To be fair, the car has probably appreciated in value a fair bit since Ms Kitt sang the original song in 1953.

3. Yacht

Worth: $15,000 – $799,900 (€14,370 – €766,375)

Yacht

She wants a yacht and really that’s not a lot? 

Well for some.

4. Deed to a platinum mine

Worth: $5,000,000 (€4,790,445)

Platinum Mine

Surprisingly, eBay doesn’t sell platinum mines. 

But according to minelistings.com, buying one will set you back a few million (or best offer).

5. Duplex

Worth: $1,250,000 – $6,195,000 (€1,197,830 – €5,936,364)

Duplex

eBay doesn’t sell houses, so I searched property listings for duplexes in LA California, where Kitt lived. 

She could probably afford to live somewhere even nicer when the profits start rolling in from her mine.

6. Cheques

Worth: ?

Cheque

Depends on how much money Santa has in the bank. Given he provides his services for free, probably not a lot.

7. Decorations bought at Tiffany

Worth: $50 – $125 each (€48 – €120)

Tiffany

Tiffany have only five decorations on sale so Eartha would have to settle for a few of the same.

8. Ring

Worth: $38 – $9,740 (€36 – €9,334)

Ring

These were the prices that came up when I searched ‘ring’ on eBay. But I think we all know that Eartha was not talking about a €38 ring.

Total = €6,107,924 – €11,633,903, plus however much the cheques were worth

Bonus Michael Bublé round!

There have been quite a few covers of Santa Baby but this is the first that substantially changed the lyrics. It’s technically called ‘Santa Buddy’. Here’s what a greedy Michael Bublé asked for.

1. Rolex

Worth: $1,495 – $34,999 (€1,433 – €33,540)

Rolex

These watches are known as luxury items for a reason.

2. 1965 convertible, steel blue

Worth: $65,000 (€62,300)

1965 Convertible

Classiccars.com lists a 1965 Ford Mustang in steel blue as costing less than the car Eartha specified. You’d wonder why Bublé changed the lyrics.

3. Canucks tickets

Worth: $6,852 (€4,910)

Canucks

Bublé shows his Canadian side, eh? 

This is the price for a Canucks season ticket for seats right up close to the action. He might want more than one to have someone to go with as well.

4. Decorations bought at Mercedes

Worth: £29 for a set of two (€35)

Mercedes

These were the only Christmas decorations I could find on the Mercedes website, and I honestly can’t see what the fuss is about.

5. Ka-ching (not as a loan)

Worth: ?

Money

Same problem as Kitt’s cheques. Like genie wishes, it pays to be specific in your over-the-top lists for Santa.

Total: Michael’s changes, as well as the yacht and the platinum mine

= €4,873,493 – €5,657,605 plus however much the ‘ka-ching’ is worth

Unsurprisingly, season tickets to the Canucks are less expensive than a house, which swung the final tally hugely in Eartha Kitt’s direction. She remains the reigning gold digger.

READ NEXT: 13 Telltale Signs You’re Too Damn Old For The 12 Pubs Of Christmas

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