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09th Feb 2018

This Is Apparently The Soundest Way To Break Up With Someone On Valentine’s Day

Megan Cassidy

It’s the one day where you presume you’re probably safe from being broken up with, but it turns out Valentine’s Day is actually a breakup hot spot. 

It sounds brutal, but Vally’s Day is actually one of the most popular days to break up with your other half according to research. 

So if your V-day is actually D-day, what’s the best way to go about it? 

Well, relationship expert Gurpreet Singh told Independent that face-to-face is the only way, despite how uncomfortable it may feel. 

Make it clear to your other half that you want to meet up ‘to talk’ rather than do something romantic, so that they can emotionally prepare for what’s coming. 

Honesty is the best policy 

‘Talk to them face-to-face, give your reasons and understand theirs,” Singh says. 

Don’t give them false hope to make things less awkward

‘Don’t leave them confused. You might be tempted to be nice and say ‘let’s just take a break for now’, but if you know this is the end then it’s kinder to say that rather than drag things out. 

‘Don’t string someone along by giving them unintentional false hope.’

Don’t list their offences 

Brandy Engler, Ph.D., author of The Men on My Couch says: 

“He’s going to get defensive, angry, and not listen to what you’re saying.” 

Use ‘I’ statements, eg. “When you prioritize other things above our relationship, I feel frustrated and unappreciated. I decided I can’t tolerate that anymore.”

Leave quickly 

After the fact, the person who’s been broken up with can tend to repeat the same defenses/pleas over and over again. You need to be clear that you’re very serious about what you’ve said and that you need to go. 

Lines of Communication 

Singh says: “Some [partners] are on the same page with the person who’s done the breaking-up and are actually happy to move on, whereas others struggle for years with a sense of loss. Whether you remain in contact with each other will really depend on how each of you evolves after the break-up and where you are in your journey. 

An expectation that you will remain friends might not be realistic but don’t feel that you need to cut all contact forever. A post break-up relationship of sorts can emerge as long as you both agree to it.”

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