Over the past few months, we’ve been living for the easings. We say to ourselves, “if I can just make it to the next set of easings, I’ll be grand”.
From the return of kids to school to the now infamous Penneys appointments, the easings have given us structure, and something to talk about when we awkwardly bump into our neighbours in the queue for Tesco. We eat, sleep and breathe easings. And the ones coming on June 7 are some humdingers. But you already know that, you’ve been fantasising about them for months. So what have you been fantasising about the most? Forget about star signs, I want to know what restriction easing you’re most excited for. That’ll tell you all you need to know about a person.
Outdoor events with 100 or 200 people allowed
Social anxiety? You don’t know her. You live for crowds, being in the centre of it all and making friends with randomers. You didn’t break out in a cold sweat once during scenes with large gatherings in films and tv shows over lockdown, and you’ve stocked up on fabric softener so that your clothes smell amazing when you’re finally allowed to hug people again.
Cinemas and theatres reopen
You’d like people to think of you as an artsy person who adores culture, but really you just crave sitting quietly in a dark room with snacks. You’ve spent lockdown planning what your first cinema meal will be; popcorn with malteasers or with minstrels? Are you willing to take out a small mortgage to pay for your pick n mix haul? Or will you go completely rogue and get the nachos? It’s all to play for.
Driver theory test bookings reopen
If you’ve learned one thing over lockdown, it’s that you want the freedom of hitting up McDonalds drive thru at 3am for an apple pie – without having to ask for a lift. You want to be able to drive to Big Tesco and look around for five hours. You want to do an IKEA trip and fill your boot with flat packs you’ll have a meltdown trying to assemble later that evening. It’s time to take that next step towards independence, and we’re excited for you. Just remember to take lots of deep breaths when the time comes to practice with one of your parents or siblings – it’ll help you feel more zen when they start frantically stepping on the imaginary brake pedal on their side of the car for the duration of the journey.
Indoor visits to private homes allowed
You just want to give your nanny a hug. She can’t work Zoom, and it’s hard to talk properly on Facetime when all you can see is a close up of her ear. She’s also set a world record for amount of times the sentence “ah, I don’t know how to work this thing” has been said. There’s just nothing like seeing her in person, and you know she’ll have the fancy biscuits in for the visit.
25 guests allowed to weddings
You’ve been holding off for that wedding guest sweet spot where you can invite enough mates for rock the boat, but you also have an excuse not to invite your annoying cousins, or your auntie whose hobbies include perusing rip.ie like it’s Tinder and reading Coronation Street spoilers on Facebook. Your special day is going to be just the right amount of intimate.
Your hot girl summer prep has been well underway via online workouts over lockdown, but it’s time to flaunt what you’ve got in front of the gym mirror, and maybe even take a sneaky flexing selfie while you’re at it. You can’t wait to talk about how stiff your legs are during the morning work Zoom after your strength and conditioning class, and your colleagues hate you for it. You bought one of the new matching gym sets from Penneys and you’re ready for it to see the world outside your bedroom. You go, fitspo.
Swimming pools/lessons reopen
Now that the warmer weather is finally here, you’re thinking of joining the dry robe and cacao ceremony crew and dipping in your toe for a ~sea swim~. But before you do, you want to know you’ll be able to make it look easy. Effortless. Graceful. As if “it’s not that cold once you’re in, honestly”. A few preparatory laps around the local pool or maybe even a lesson or two will have you looking like Funghis long lost cousin in no time. Sunrise swim at the 40foot, here you come!
Bars and restaurants reopen for outdoor service
You’ve spent lockdown meticulously planning what outfits you’ll wear to the beer garden you’ve dreamt of for so long, and now it’s just around the corner! Sure, your cute co-ord will be buried under several layers and a duvet coat, but it’d be rude not to make the effort after all these months. You may have become a dab hand at homemade espresso martinis and the perfect pour from a can of Guinness, but really you feel more comfortable leaving it to the professionals. Boomerangs of cheers-ing cocktails and pints pending.
Theme parks/amusement parks/funfairs reopen
You’re a bit of a thrill seeker, and setting your alarm for 1 minute before you start your wfh shift just isn’t giving you the adrenaline rush it used to anymore. You want to win a massive teddy bear for your date by knocking down a tower of cans with a tennis ball, and you know what? You deserve it. Step right up, and don’t forget to ask for extra spins on the waltzers.
Drive in cinema/drive in bingo reopen
Sure, you’re happy things are open again, but you also know there’s a lot to be said for not speaking to anyone and staying in your car. It’s safe, it’s cosy, and you don’t have to listen to anyone clapping once the film’s over. You also don’t have to be conscious of quietly eating your cinema snacks during extra tense scenes, so as not to disturb anyone. Win win tbh.
Outdoor Sports Matches reconvene
You've broken your keepy-uppy record in the garden about 500 times and just want to get back out on the five-a-side pitch. You've been organising games with your mates for weeks and normality will soon be restored when they all drop out last minute due to work, family or "just being lazy" commitments.