12 Fantastically Shit Valentine’s Day Gifts You Can Buy

Buy me heart mittens so I know it's forever

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Valentine's Day has the potential to bring out the good, bad and the absolutely ridiculous in us all – in positive and negative ways, mind you.

Furthermore, the pre-Valentine's Day panic instills a fear so intense into men, women and children that we end up panic buying the most outrageous of items.

Plan ahead this year and get them something they'd truly adore, like the following 12...

1. Erotic slippers

Nothing says I fancy you like fuzzy genital accessories for your feet.

20145 Mimi Vs Penis Couple Font B Slippers B Font Indoor Floor Shoes For Font B

Photo cred: www.aliexpress.com

2. An asymmetric man thong

Note: the only way this present can be saved is if you buy them a holiday to go on with said thong.

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Photo cred: www.buzzfeed.com

3. A personalised magazine cover

Set yourselves in perma-glossy territory.

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Photo cred: www.yourcover.com

Original Personalised Birthday Magazine Cover Print Male

Photo cred: www.notonthehighstreet.com

4. A sexy mug

Put it all out there on a mug handle.

Original Alphabet Mug Sexy

Photo cred: www.notonthehighstreet.com

5. Ask me about my zombie disguise t-shirt

Has your other half been working out? Show them you've noticed with this feast for the senses.

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Photo cred: www.brit.co

6. Mullet on the go

Does your other half miss the '80s? Do they wish to be a free spirit at the weekend but also a baller on weekdays? Then this is the gift for you.

Mullet on the go is a one stop party for your head, and for all of those around you. 

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Photo cred: www.pinterest.com

7. A 2-carat cup

Are they looking to settle down, but you're just not that sure? Hold them off for another little while with a wedding ring cup. That's sure to make them love you more.

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Photo cred: www.thedailydigi.com

8. Horse face wedding cake toppers

Is Valentine's Day your anniversary? Perfect!

Time to get weird.

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Photo cred: www.britco.com

7. Wilson Volleyball from 'Castaway'

Is your mate forever alone? Change them by hooking them up with their very own Wilson from Castaway!

Disclaimer: expect either slaps or sobbing.

Www Wilson

Photo cred: www.wilson.com

8. This Prince greeting card

Because if you're too shy to tell someone how you feel, Prince is always there to do it for you.

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Photo cred: www.bustle.com

9. A Kama Sutra biscuit Ccutter

Yes, these exist.

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Photo cred: www.pinterest.com

10. Crocheted underwear

Ill-fitting, ill-feeling and generally all just a bit much.

And, think it's all just for girls? Think again...

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Photo cred: www.pinterest.com

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Photo cred: www.etsy.com

11. This necklace on which there are dinosaurs having sex

Aptly named 'Lucky Bones'. 

Sigh.

Dino Boning Necklace 1

Photo cred: www.geekologie.com

12. And finally, these heart mittens

How have you gone on so long without them?

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Photo cred: www.wanelo.com

READ NEXT: 11 Alternative Valentine’s Day Gifts

Written By

Kate Demolder

Kate is a contributing writer here at Lovin Dublin. You are as likely to see her indulging in some of Dublin’s finer establishments, as well as panic-exercising the day after.

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