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25th May 2017

17 Infuriating Things All Returning Irish Emigrants Will Recognise

James Fenton

You’ve scratched your travel itch and now it’s time to return home. But will Ireland be the same as when you left it? Not bloody likely.

Here’s all the annoying things you’re going to have to get used to:

1. The huge welcome home you expected doesn’t quite materialise 

Turns out people have lives. 

2. You slowly discover that people can’t come out as much 

“Can’t… or won’t?”

3. When you do get together it’s like you were never away

“So no news then?’

4. Nobody comes out midweek

They’ve got one of those job things. 

5. All your friends have new friends

The ultimate sin. 

6. It’s like you don’t even know them anymore

Everybody’s changing. 

7. It’s impossible to get dinner late at night

But it’s only 11.30pm. 

8. Your parents are always there

Every. Single. Day. 

9. You can actually watch Irish TV as it happens  

No more relying on online clips of the Toy Show

10. You can actually eavesdrop on people 

Not so easy in a country where you don’t speak the language. 

11. You learn to appreciate every sunny day 

It’s not like this all year round you know. 

12. All the money you saved abroad slowly withers away 

Ireland ain’t cheap. 

13. You keep hearing the same questions, forever 

Again? 

14. Like “so, are you back for good?” for the rest of your life

“Well, I came back seven years ago… so yeah.” 

15. Or “you were away somewhere for a while, weren’t you?”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know where I was.”

16. And the vaguest query of all…

“So, what was it LIKE over there?” 

17. But all in all, you’re delighted to be back

Because there’s nothing like being at home with those you love! For about a month. 

READ NEXT: 17 Things You Need To Know Before Visiting South India

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