Father’s Day is coming up this Sunday so now is the perfect time to reflect on how much our auld boys do for us.
It’s also as good a time as any to laugh at the everyday, run of the mill situations which cause them to completely lose their chill.
How many is your Da guilty of?
1. Driving too fast
“Slow down…”
2. Driving too slow
“Speed up…”
3. Whenever he loses something
Glasses/pen/garden shears. Always in the last place he looks.
4. When the TV remote doesn’t work
“This shaggin’ thing.”
5. Asking for help
“Not now…”
6. Not asking for help
“You should have asked…”
7. Leaving the light on
He’s not made of money.
8. Finishing the butter but not throwing the empty container out
How very dare you.
9. Not answering your phone
What’s the point in having one?
10. Taking the newspaper before he has a chance to read it
As he sits there pretending not to be annoyed.
11. When it’s too wet to cut the grass
“Tis due a cut an’ all.”
12. Talking during the news
“Whisht…”
13. Turning off the news
“Just news please. All day long.”
14. Computers
“Sure they don’t know what they’re at, those yokes.”
15. The soaps
Want your dad to leave the room? Throw on Eastenders.
16. Politicians
“Yer man’s some gobshite…”
17. Any music you like
“What is that shite you’re listening to?”
18. Sports
Only when his team loses.
19. TV Talent shows
That’s his Saturday night cue to hit the pub.
20. Cursing
“Stop that fuckin’ swearing…”
21. Finally, traffic jams
We think we’ll just walk.