World Cup Widow’s Super Sexy Samba Salad

It’s that time of the year when men all over the world go to the fridge, grab six packs of beer and sit on their fat asses for a month watching other men kick stupid balls around a pitch half way across the world. Now I realise not all men are like this and that some women like the beautiful game too but this is a month where many relationships will be tested. With that in mind I decided to create a seriously kick ass summer salad that non football lovers can make instead. It’s packed full of good stuff, light and tasty which means you can have it with a glass of wine and go find a few of the guys out and about not watching football who will give you the attention you deserve.

Instructions

Step 1

The ingredients are super simple to find bar perhaps the pomegranate but it is well worth looking for because it adds that magical crunch.

Step 2

Peel the carrots. Not exactly the most challenging thing you are ever going to have to undertake. If you are stuck at this stage maybe give up and go back in and watch the football!

Step 3

Once the bastards are peel get rid of the outside bits. Then simply keep peeling. You are looking for big long fuck off strips. Lots of them. The more the better.

Step 4

Grab the green beans out. Give them a wash cause you wouldn’t know what those dirty bastard farmers are at these days with their beans.

Step 5

Slice them up nice and thin. We are going to be cooking these so aim for nice even sized pieces.

Step 6

I was lucky (And lazy) enough to have pre cubed pieces of bacon. They’ll work perfectly for this. Thats all the prep ready.

Step 7

Fry up the bacon.

Step 8

Once the bacon has been cooking for a couple of minutes fuck in the beans. Nice medium heat here and again this is not rocket science.

Step 9

Chop the ends off the salad.

Step 10

Just pull away the leaves. No need for a knife.