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29th May 2017

15 Things You’ll Recognise If You Grew Up With Feckloads Of Cousins

James Fenton

A lot of us grew up in a good, Irish-sized family. Not content with having four or five siblings, about 30 cousins made every family gathering seem like a fecking music festival.

To be fair the craic was usually ninety and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Are you in the same boat? You should be able to recognise the following:

1. Sleepovers generally consisted of about 25 people

The floor would be covered.

2. You all had a favourite uncle or aunty who had no kids of their own

They’d let you all away with murder.

3. There’s always a kids’ table at every occasion

And the parents were delighted.

4. You were all generally left to mind each other

Too many kids for your folks to focus on. 

5. Everyone wore ‘hand-me-downs’

That Air Jordan t-shirt from 1992 is now a family heirloom. 

6. And school books were rarely bought 

Which was great cos your cousin had written all the answers. 

7. The youngest cousins were always ganged up on

Not fair.

8. But older cousins were always bragged about 

They were just so cool.

9. Inside jokes last forever

Remember that time Aunty Mary fell over at that funeral? Gas. 

10. You broke so many rules on car journeys

Six in the back and not a seatbelt in sight. 

11. The adults never got your name right

It was hard tbf.

12. God bless anyone who started on any of you

One for all and all for one. 

13. As adults, the sessions are mighty

They don’t happen often but when they do they go on all night. 

14. But sadly, you’re not guaranteed an invite to a wedding 

There’s just too many of you. 

15. Finally, all your cousins now have kids and you haven’t the foggiest idea who any of them are.

READ NEXT: 12 Things You’ll Recognise Instantly If You Go Home For The Weekend