Summer holidays are a big deal for Irish people.
We don't get the sun a lot, so we like to plan way in advance of our annual trip to experience how the other half live.
Of course, no matter how much preparation we put into our plans, it always ends up the same with everyone saying one, or several, of these things:
1. "Jaysis, the price of this pint"
Whether it's more expensive or cheaper or the same price, the comparison has to be made.
2. "Right, where can we watch the GAA?"
You went on holidays to get away from it all, but not everything.
3. "Look at the colour of you!"
The universal comment when someone is absolutely scalded.
4. "You've a nice healthy glow on ya"
The other universal comment for when someone is as pale as the moment they got on the plane.
5. "Where's the nearest Irish pub? I need a real pint"
Complain as we might about the amount of Irish pubs abroad, we always end up there, one way or another.
6. "Does it cost me to receive a text?"
Uttered by every Irish Mammy on every holiday. Ever.
7. "It's a bit warm now, all the same"
Code for: I'm absolutely sweating but I am by no means necessary going inside.
8. "Wait, so what time is it back home?"
You get off the plane and realise your watch hasn't changed time, but has your phone? Cue the actual chaos as people try to find out what time it is.
9. "The local food is just gorgeous"
As they dive into a cheeseburger. Real exotic, lads.
10. "I wonder what the weather at home is like..."
You send a quick message back home to see what the weather's like, secretly hoping it's way worse.
11. *pronounces everything on menu in a dodgy accent*
Well look, sure at least we tried.
12. "You just can't get a decent cup of tea here"
They could literally serve you an actual cup of Barry's, but it's never quite the same, is it?
13. "This place has gotten really good reviews"
I told you, copious amounts of planning goes into our trips.
14. "Do I turn on roaming? Do I have roaming?"
What even is roaming?
15. "You'll never guess how much that was ... "
Everything seems infinitely cheaper when you're on holidays.
16. "I can't deal with the heat"
When you finally admit that maybe, you just can't handle the sun.
17. "There's a lot of tourists around here"
Because we're practically locals, like.
18. "Who has the suncream?"
Obviously. We're Irish, after all.
But that doesn't stop us from going again next year.