Christmas Expectations VS Reality

Sarah

We all have certain expectations as to how Christmas Day will turn out, but does it ever really go as imagined?

Not quite.

Here are the expectations VS reality we all struggle with at Christmas.

1. Waking up on Christmas Day

Expectation: Your entire family eats mince pies in your parents bed and you start the day filled with excitement and energy.

Reality: You awake with the hangover from hell and realise you’ve forgotten to wrap your Mam’s present.

2. Morning Mass service

Expectation: You arrive in your finest silks and feel extra-festive as you sing the carols.

Reality: The church is fucking freezing and you’re forced to make the sign of peace with your childhood enemy.

3. Receiving Christmas greetings from friends

Expectation: Your tel-e-phooone is HOPPING with well wishes from the whole gang!

Reality: Not one txt? Seriously? It gets worse when your own granny doesn’t even reply.

4. Opening alllllll the presents

Expectation: It’s a civilised affair that lasts hours where you get the most thoughtful gifts you’ve always wished for.

Reality: Everyone rips through the wrapping paper WAY too fast, and before you know it the whole joyous scene is finished. Oh, and you’ve also received your third set of Lynx. Cheers.

5. Being reunited with family

Expectation: Your favourite, fun cousins will arrive ready to knock back some festive cocktails and you’ll run a riot in the gaff.

Reality: One cousin is pregnant and the other is on antibiotics so they can’t really booze. You end up finishing an entire bottle of gin by yourself and regretting it the next day.

6. The Christmas feast

Expectation: A spectacular array of meats and vegetables, with the bonus of being able to fit in seconds straight away.

Reality: The gravy is kinda lumpy, your dad has burnt the turkey and when you go up for more all the potato croquettes are gone. THE INJUSTICE.

7. The dinner table conversation:

Expectation: Everyone wears their party hats and laughs at all of the cringy jokes. Wine is flowing and the fam are smiling.

Reality: Your place setting is right beside your half-deaf Great-Aunt, and you almost dislocate her shoulder by being a bit too eager when you pull your half of the Christmas cracker.

8. Watching your fave Christmas movie

Expectation: Everyone snuggles on the sofas by the roaring fire to watch ‘It’s A Wonderful Life” and it’s a festive dream come true.

Reality: No-one can agree on what film to watch, someone hides the remote out of spite and you’re all stuck watching some weird tv programme about trains in England.

9. Unlimited amounts of sweets

Expectation: Roses, Celebrations, Quality Street – you just know you’ll be stuffing your face for the whole day on sugary treats.

Reality: By the time the tins have been passed around to you, you’re left with either all the shitty sweets that no one likes or worse, a box of empty wrappers. *Sigh*

10. Going to sleep after the big day

Expectations: You get to wear your brand new jammies and fluffy socks, and you fall asleep like a happy li’l baby full of Christmas cheer.

Reality: You’ve got awful indigestion from all the gorging, and to top it off you’ve been banished to a blow-up mattress on the sitting room floor ’cause ‘the guests’ have to sleep in your room.