You’ve booked all the flights, the walking tours and the romantic hotel, and now the time has come.
Your very first holiday away together as an official couple. <3
In your head it’s gonna be all skinny dipping in the sea at midnight, breakfast in bed, and long walks along the pier where you share your hopes and dreams. Sure, you might get that if you’re lucky, but there’s a few things that are certain to happen on every single couple’s first holiday.
Here’s what to expect…
1. You get in a fight at the airport
One of you wants to spend years duty free shopping, the other likes to be early AF for their gate. Teamwork, people, teamwork.
2. One* of you suggests saying you’re on your honeymoon to blag an upgrade (*the smart one)
Why YES, we would like the Presidential Suite.
3. You find out your partner poos with the door open
Ugh. TMI. If you’re going to a country where you can’t flush toilet paper then you are in for a reeeeeeeeal adventure. And that adventure fucking stinks.
4. You get WAY too drunk the very first night
“Hey we’re young and fun too okay?!” Cue huge buckets of cocktails, shots shots shots and daring the other to knock back their beers.
5. Which means you spend the next morning getting your partner to hold your hair back…
All good things must end.
6. You reveal all sorts of saucy secrets to each other
You’ll find out your partner has some sort of weird fetish, and you’ll have ALL the goss on their mates by the time the holiday is over.
7. You avoid the ‘LADS ON TOUR’ group at all costs
All you want is cute couple time and they are loud and annoying and loud.
8. But then day 6 comes and you’re bored AF so you make mates with them all
Did we say couple time? We take that back. We meant partttty time xox
9. Intimacy gets taken to a whole new level
You’ll need to apply suncream to the weirdest of places, and there’ll be at least one moment when a spot just needs to get taken care of. Vom.
10. You’ll make your other half take the same photo over ‘n’ over ‘n’ over again
The Instagram has to look good guys, so just suck. it. up.
11. You’ll start swapping places to get pictures beside monuments
“Okay, now I’ll get one of you beside the tower and then you get one of me?”
12. You’ll then give in and just buy a selfie-stick
You get pretty sick of asking other people to take a pic of the two of you.
13. One of you will get seriously sunburnt
And the other will either be sympathetic or very, very “I told you so.”
14. There won’t be nearly as much sex as you thought…
Sure you’ve all the time in the world for that carry on.
15. Or way WAY more
The heat, the seaview from your room, those fab hotel sheets. A winning combo for the ride.
16. You sit in silence at the free Wi-Fi zone
Look, you’ve talked enough right?
17. You find out something really random about your partner
Like the fact that they were a champion fencer as a child or once owned two pet hermit crabs.
18. You’ll come back closer…
Or just break up. But it’s a risk you gotta take.