If you don’t have a bejewelled bottom this summer, you’re nobody.
The arses of the nation will be shining bright this festival season, as hints of a (slightly worrying) new trend are beginning to emerge.
Penneys pride themselves on being first with all the latest fashion movements, so if their latest stock is anything to go by, you can expect a lot of glittery bums at Longitude.
And if they’re glittery, you can bet they’ll be bare.
Tweeter ‘nib’ shared a post of the ‘Glitter Force’ product, which illustrates in no uncertain terms where the gems are meant to be applied.
‘Nib’ wrote: ‘Just so you know, Penneys are now selling gems for your arse’
People have questions.
Is sand not good enough anymore?
— Sarah Ní Riain (@froodie) May 16, 2018
What happens when you have to sit at the bus stop for like an hour
— Annie West (@anniewestdotcom) May 16, 2018
What happens if one…(whispers)… creeps North?
— Lindsay ???? (@LindsayK_23) May 16, 2018
Can you imagine the next morning
— Fiona O’Brien (@RealFionaO) May 17, 2018
Don’t wear them on your hols! Imagine the tan lines ????
— Sinéad Í Dubhsláin (@naydel11) May 17, 2018
Interesting….when would one wear these? At the beach? For work? lol
— Christina (@christsaysthing) May 17, 2018
Could you imagine trying to use a portaloo with those????????
— Kaitlan O’Flanagan✨ (@kaitlan_oflan) May 17, 2018
How do you put them on? Are they on a plastic sheet & you sit down on the sticky side & then pull? Or! do you have to get a good and willing friend to make it look pretty? Then how do you get them off? What if they fall off in the shower? Water pollution/blocked drains etc?
— Jo (@MsJamandPickle) May 17, 2018
“Her arse, it shone like diamonds, they called her the queen of the land, and the very first thing she said was…..” come ON now folks…..
— CarolineNíLoingsigh (@CLoingsigh) May 17, 2018
Go forth and shine, sparkle-arses.