21st birthday parties are pivotal moments in Irish society.
You’ve matured past your teen years, where every party included you getting absolutely obliterated, and you’re now at the stage where all you want is a few calm drinks with your friends.
*lols internally*
If you didn’t have your own, it’s probably because you were scarred from someone else’s, where you will have seen at least one of these moments…
1. Your uncle gives an embarrassing speech
There’s slurring and tears and a “cheers” at the end.
2. Followed by your own drunk speech
You may not remember what you said, but you can bet it was enthralling.
3. Naggins
Heaps of them, scattered around your house.
4. There’s enough food for 100 people
And you only invited 50. You’ll be eating lasagne and cocktail sausages for weeks.
5. There’s baby pictures of you everywhere
If you didn’t have a photo collage of you did you even have a party?
6. You have to sit through the 21 kisses
Even though you explicitly said you didn’t want them. They’re just cringe for everyone.
7. Someone brings a mate no one likes
You said plus ones were okay, but not them.
8. There’s an emotional and dramatic sing-song
Usually with your relatives as you collectively weep over the beauty of Bono’s voice.
9. Someone cries
Because you’re getting old, because they’re getting old, because we’re all getting old.
10. There’s an unnecessary amount of confetti
Those little 21 confetti that you scattered so gracefully on the tables? They’re now in your carpet, forevs.
11. Your family arrives awkwardly early
You’ve just barely finished getting ready and now you have to deal with 20 questions. Christ.
12. Someone vomits
Probably on your Dad, or your cat.
13. You suck the helium out of the balloons
And think you’re hilaaarious with your new voice. So original.
14. Someone shifts someone they shouldn’t
Tonight is the night you tell your neighbour how you really feel about them, so you can hide in shame from them forever more.
15. Your parents catch you smoking
Your garden isn’t as inconspicuous as the normal smoking areas.
16. And finally, you don’t remember half the night
And that’s the way it should be.
We wouldn’t have it any other way…
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