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21st Nov 2017

9 Characters Everyone Meets On Their Morning Commute

Éadaoin Fitzmaurice

Ah the morning commute, there’s no better time of day to people watch is there?

You’re trying to keep yourself from yawning over someone for fear that you might have some porridge oats stuck in your teeth and you find yourself making eye contact with someone for that second longer than you’d like to.

There are a few characters however, that this dreaded excursion would not be complete without.

1. Mr./Ms. I Want Everybody To Know My Business 

Ah yes, Chitty Mc Chatterson, jeez they’d wreck your buzz sometimes. 

They are the ones that will have the loudest phone conversation while everyone else is dead silent. You have heard about how they need to get the car off Susan before 6pm and how they are planning on a chicken curry for the dins, without any onions of course. 

2. Mr./Ms. 100 Things To Do

Whether it’s sprawling their pile of notes across the seats or elbowing you in the side while they apply a full face of makeup, this person needs to realise the morning commute is not the space, it’s too damn squished.

3. Mr./Ms. Music Maker

You’d be surprised they can still function after blowing up their eardrums. 

A personal favourite of mine was one girl who had the theme tune of The Titanic blaring one morning as she gazed out the sweat-condensed window. 

4. The Couple

How does that old saying go? A couple who commutes together stay together? 

They hold the same railing and giggle to one another while everyone else on the bus looks like they’ve not woken up yet. 

5. Starer

You have caught eyes with person a good five or six times already and it’s a little awkward. You can’t help it though you just have to look over again to see if they’re still looking.

Hey wait, does that mean that you’re the starer? 

6. Your Friend That You’ve Never Actually Spoken To

So this a bit of a silent rule, but everyone has a commuter friend. You’ve never actually spoken to this person, in fact you know absolutely nothing about them apart from the fact that they go to work the same time as you.

Someday you’ll speak to them, even if it is just blessing them after they sneeze…

7. The Person You Actually Do Know But Avoid

You get on the bus/train/Luas and you see that face…. ugh. 

You don’t have any particular problem with this person, in fact if you saw them in a different scenario (and at a later time) you might actually spark up conversation. You are just too damn tired right now for that shit though, so you put the head down until you reach your stop.

8. Mr./Ms. Agro 

This person is so aggravated at everything and everyone. If someone moves an inch they will get the death stare.

We get that you’re ticked off to be crammed in with the rest of us on your commute but please, chill the beans.

9. Sleepy Mc Sleeperson

Mr. Sandman has paid this person a visit. 

They may be catching an extra 40 winks but at least you have time to scour for a bit of eye candy before a long day of work. 

READ MORE: An Irish Lad Pulled A Pretty Hilarious Prank While He Was In Amsterdam

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