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12th Jul 2021

The basic B’s guide to Love Island episode 12

Fiona Frawley

Right. For obvious reasons, I’d say a grand total of 3 (three) people across Ireland and the UK actually watched Love Island last night.

So today’s recap will come without support from my usual band of merry Tweeters who were all otherwise occupied last night, but look, we’ll get through this together.

I tuned in after pretending I liked football for the last 20 mins of the match and my mum pointedly asking  “they’re about to do penalties.. do you know what that is?” When we switched over to virgin media the islanders were still grabbing each other for chats and doing the morning coffee run as if nothing else was going on.

The episode started with everyone in the villa deciding who should go on a date with new boy Teddy; there were four speed date spots to fill. They settled on Kaz, Rachel, Sharon and Faye. He was flirty, confident and attentive on all dates and for fear of speaking too soon, he definitely seems like more of a ~man~ than the bargain bucket offerings of boyos who’s biggest fear in life is expressing a feeling to a woman we’ve been dealing with thus far.

No shocker, they all fancy him and some intense grafting commenced. Teddy swanned his way into the villa and kept his cards close to his chest when they asked who he was interested in, although he did ‘joke’ with them twice about stealing Lucinda; cue intense fear filling the face of a usually expressionless Bradley. Liberty gracefully took on the role of wingwoman and grilled Teddy on everything from his type to his five year plan, with the rest of the girls huddled around hanging onto every word.

Main thing we learned from last nights episode: Rachel’s flirting tactics are painful. She’s an absolute babe, a lovely person and I want the very best for her, but don’t enjoy watching her set out to get it. Within 12 hours of meeting Teddy she was offering to pay for dates (what is it with the women in this villa doing that?) and asking what turns him on sexually while they drank their morning iced coffees. Maybe I’m turning prudish in my old age but it just felt a bit… much. He did mention that two dates in particular stood out for him. Based on his body language with the girls and how he talked to them the following day, I feel he was talking about Sharon and Faye, Faye especially. Happy for them and all but we can’t help but hate to see it, where is the man for our queen Kaz???

In terms of content no one is interested in we saw Millie and Liam and Chloe and Toby sleep together on the beds outside, which is usually an absolute no no before recoupling, and the “naughty trio” discussing what’s in Toby’s pants. It didn’t take up too much space in the episode because to be honest no one cares, this is Teddy’s villa now.

https://twitter.com/ellelizx/status/1413965591426252806?s=20

Finally, we learned there’ll be a recoupling tomorrow night, boys choice. My predictions are as follows:

  • Brad picks Lucinda (to her devastation, as we know she’s already got the ick)
  • Liam picks Millie
  • Toby picks Chloe
  • Aaron picks Sharon after having no luck with the new girls
  • Jake picks Liberty (we wait with baited breath for that nightmare of a relationship to end and for our princess Liberty to find someone worthy)
  • Teddy picks Faye
  • Hugo picks Kaz for a friendship couple
  • Rachel goes home

I could be wrong about Teddy and would absolutely love to see him coupled up with Kaz, but it seemed like he was big into Faye, despite her questionable chat when talking to boys she’s interested in (see- “some of the girls in here wear a lot of makeup during the day but that’s not me”… okay Faye). Tonight will reveal all and hopefully there’ll be no more England fans shoving flares into orifices to distract us.

Header image via Instagram/Love Island 

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